Thank you for taking the time to read this...

I had just began working for Homeland Security four years ago when I was injured on the job.  Previously, I had been doing some communications design work for several years.  After being laid-off several times when the industry was going through changes, I began looking for another career.  I subsituted in some local schools when the Homeland Security position came through.  I was very happy with my future there, but was injured just a few months after being hired there.

I am on diability, but since my full-time job was brief and my subsituting was sporatic the year prior, my benefits are low.  To make things worse, I was in a serious auto accident in December 2006, during a blizzard and have more financial problems now.  It looks like I will be loosing my home and have no family that can come to my aid.  I look to the Lord for His guidance and hope.

No one is perfect......me and my wife are in hard times right now.  Our power bill is 500.00 dollars and we just don't have it right now.  We tried everything we could think of, but we just can't do it right now.  I feel that the LORD wanted me to find this page for a reason and I'm still not sure how I found it.  If anyone can help us.....I promise when we get over this speedbump.....we will pay it foward to someone who needs help.  jjblaze101@yahoo.com

Im begging God to hear me now on this one: I need prayer, I always need prayer. For once in my life I want this to be the last time I have to beg for help! It's always something. Always. Rather its abuse or fianicial its always something, and it always seems to be in a way that I have no control of the situation. I know i should put it in Gods hands but how can i when, its hard to even get in my hand.  I know, I know, Your strong, youve been through so much, you can make it! What if... what if I dont wanna make it anymore, what if I cant find the silver linging anymore. IM NOT STRONG enough anymore, I cant do it by myself like this anymore. Im sorry but i cant, well maybe i can eventually but I dont Want to. Why? When all I do is live to work so I can barley live? I dont wanna do it anymore. It's become so pointless, and im trying so hard! I really am, Im tryin so hard I spend about 2hrs a day with my kids at home, what kind of mom does that make me. And when they beg and Cry for me to spend more time what do i say, I will, I will Baby, Mommy just needs to take more time, Mommy has to pay the bills or we wont have a home to come to. And he tells me he doesnt care and he rather be homeless again, because now mommy is always gone and cant spend time with them anymore. My whole reason for living and doing what I do is for my kids and now, its like they're suffering , because MOMMY"S GOTTA PAY THE BILLS..........