This new years resolution was not my normal superficial new year resolutions. I also have broken the tradition of not breaking the new years resolution. I have always been a very extreme person and when I say my life was in a chaotic wreck it was a chaotic wreck in the most extreme way possible. All of my time was spent at work and getting my kids out the door or settled in the apartment for the night with a babysitter so I could go back to work. My run down apartment was a mess. No organization and was a dirty mess. I was only there a couple of hours a day but my kids were forced to spend more time there and I couldn't do anything about it. I never had time it was work and more work to pay the bills for going to work. I would hear "mom, mom, look at this" or "I need help with this" at first. I was to busy trying to get things ready for the babysitter or them ready to go out the door to daycare. Then the fits started and the demands for my attention and it was obvious there was a serious problem. On top of all of this I still couldn't make ends meet. Life was spinning out of control. Then comes the New Year. Like anything in my life at that time I was at least a week late on everything other than work, work, work. I finally had my resolution however late....it was for balance. Great resolution right. The problem that followed that was I needed a game plan which I never acomplished. I reacted one day and have been on a path that is still very much unbalanced yet has me feeling a little more balanced and my kids are much happier now. I struggle financially right now but I was doing that before. I now have food in the fridge, know my kids, and just moved into an apartment that has dramatically improved our standard of living. I am not sure how the bills are going to get paid but the roof over our heads is taken care of and we can still eat. I find it is the small things in life the greatest at this point and have opened my eyes to the amount of things more valuble than a rat race for finances that get you furher behind in the grand scheme of things. To me the meaning of balance was highlighted by improving the quality of life for my family.