Im not even sure what this site is for other than just having people out there who know what im going through. I have spent the last few years wondering if im going to be able to hang on. Im an adult survivor of child abuse and sexual abuse. For most of my life I have been able to maintain, but recently I feel like im comming apart. Im sure most of it is related to the fact that my life latley is so out of control. The economy is so bad right now that the stress level's have reached an all time high. I know im not the only one out here suffering, I just feel like I am.  I was diagnosed with Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome, re-occuring depression, Severe Panic and Anxiety. So with all this going on the lack of money isn't helping. I know what I need to do, and I want to be able to do it, I just cant. And I know what your thinking not with that attitude, but I used to have a great attitude, I just lost it somewhere down the road. My husband is Disabled with a bad Back and Knee, It makes it hard because we are trying to maintain a house and raise 3 kids on his disability pay and it just doesnt work.. I've tried everything. I have tried to work and tried to go to school but I just cant finish anything. I start out great and then fizzle. It gets so bad I get so over whelmed I cant continue I start getting panic attacks and then im done. If anyone can offer suggestions Im open. Anything.

until then Im still hanging in there.

Volunteer Healthcare provider is providing training free of charge to addiction counselors in China and other under-served countries at own expense.

Please help fund this very important work! It helps to save lives and prevent the spread of HIV and addiction to other parts of the world!

This volunteer work helps new counselors learn how to teach substance use counseling and develop treatment programs. Addiction professionals are the lowest paid health care professionals and receive no compensation while away from their workplace teaching other medical and health professionals. This causes great hardship to my own family.

My expenses include airfare from Chicago to Shanghai ($2600) and hotel and meals while I am teaching at my own expense.  I live very frugally but I do not make any vacation pay (or anything else) while I am away which is very difficult and costly.   I volunteer my services a great deal in the U.S. as well which is an additional financial burden however I feel it is important work and therefore someone must be willing to do it.

The training is provided at the volunteers own cost. There is no ability for the students in China to reimburse the volunteers for their time or expertise (communist country). Please consider donating to help cover the cost of our time, travel expenses and housing while in Shanghai, Beijing and other underserved areas. Goal is reduction of the spread of HIV. Grant funding is not available for these trips any longer.

Thank you for reading my post,

The Leaders for International Substance use Treatment, Education and Neuroscience (LISTEN)

LISTEN

Hi, Single parent and full time student who has maintained well.  Ran into a few problems these past couple of months.  Ga. Power, the sole provider of electric service here in atlanta has decided to charge me and arm and leg for my winter utilities.  When asked about this 4 month long spike, they told me that the therms cost more and so does winter heating.  Long story short, my child and i are in need of emergency assistance.  We live in a total electric house and have been having a very bad week.  I maintain all my bills, but that ga. power was sending bills here before i could pay the other.  i just need a little help to get over this hump, then i will be graduating and hopefully finding work in my field, social work.  Thanks for all your prayers and any help given will be greatly appreciated. Thanx 4 reading all this.

Times are difficult for everyone right now...so I don't know why I'd come to this site to see if I could get any assistance with my financial problems...I read some of the stories/comments and I really don't feel like I have a problem anymore. I mean, I work 40 hours a week, so does my husband, but we can't make ends meet. Everyday it seems like something else happens to put us back further.  We haven't had food in our house in months, but we get by.  Our rent is behind by 1 month, but it could be worse(we could be sleeping on a bench, or behind a building).  I guess I'm thankful for the situation I'm in right now...after reading I don't have it as bad...I wish I could help some of these folks myself.

2 1/2 years ago I decided to get off ALL chemical substances (my doc was crack-cocaine, weed, and booze). I thought i was always broke back then, but now that I pay my bills it's even harder to stay above -- I call it the "wreckage of my past...." It haunts me day and night, but I'd rather be clean & sober and be broke than to be an addict and be broke.  I hold onto my faith to get me through each day, and I know eventually I will see the light, and I'll come out on top. So if your struggling -- hold on, your time will come...their are people around us who want to help, they're out there.  Just keep the faith.

DR's have been throwing pain meds at me since there is nothing else they can do to correct my back injury. I felt like they were interferring with my quality of life & have been looking for alternative treatments. I have found one that is working, which includes bi-weekly spinal injections (it is not cortisol or cortisone or whatever it is everyone asks when they first hear that I am getting injections). They are not without there own side effects.Anyway, I started getting those in Dec & had a short 6 day stint in the hospital in Jan with a 4 day at home recovery time. I used all of my vacation time at work, but felt it was all worth the trouble to get myself off of the meds. So I have a DR I love, who is weening me off of the pain meds & every other Tuesday I left work 2 hours early to get my injections. I thought everything was going great & wonderful progress being made. Wednesday the 6th of February I was at work & around lunch time I started vomiting. The treatment the day before had been more agressive than usual & I'm unsure if it was that or the flu or the reduction in my pain meds or possibly all three, but my office manager told me to go home & not come to work so sick. I called in the following day to notify them that I was still vomiting & the VP of the company told me we needed to part ways & that it was too hard to cover my shift. Part of my work has since been deligated to other employees & the computer end outsourced, so they are not hiring a replacement for me. On my pain meds I get a promotion & raises & now I'm fired.

It was my dream to buy a house for myself & my 3 children. I think it is exaserbated since I do not have a family & have never had a "home" to go too. I now wake up everyday thinking I am going to lose my house & I am trying everything in my power to keep it. I still haven't found a job even though there are prospects, my utilities are getting shut off this week but all I can think is keep the house & the phone & I can fix everything else later when I get a job. I have been making payments monthly to one DR who is now suing me because I cannot pay him right now. I applied for emergency enegry assistance but they said I made too much money in January $960.

I can hardly get out of bed everyday. I'm terrifingly depressed & have thoughts that I simply do not have. I'm a bawling exhausted mess. If I cannot pay for cobra insurance by next week, the DR that I think is so great, can no longer see me for my spinal injections or to continue to ween me off of my pain meds. We already know what withdrawal does  & this situation alone has me so anxious & upset that I'm already a shaky, emotional loon. I'm out of contact lenses & have to get an eye exam to get new ones & I cannot see two feet infront of my face which adds to my stress & insecurity.

I'm selling my paintings & am trying to get them posted online once I find someone with a digital camera. I also have a KEM Weber Springer chair that needs to be reapholstered. One that had been redone sold at Sotherbys for 5k. The chrome & everything important on that chair is in great shape & the cushions are fine, the fabric is just worn. I got it for next to nothing years ago & I hate to part with it but desprate times... 

I've lived on my own since I was 14 & I have always been proud of my ability to take care of myself & of others & asking for help is bordering on humiliating, I just don't want to lose everything before I have the chance to get back on my feet.

I have my resume up everywhere & have 2 interviews lined up & 17 applications out there but if I end up with no phone all of that will go out the window I am afraid. Also, I am willing to create new paintings & sell ones I have already completed. If I cannot get my spinal injections the pain will leave me unable to walk & if I have to stop weening off of my pain meds & end up coming off cold turkey I will be worthless and this could all put me behind to the point my family & I end up in a shelter. I have applied for emergency food stamps so we are ok in the food deptartment.

I know if I can make it until I get a job, it woun't be long until I can help others. My name is Sonja & thank you for taking to time to read this.

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nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.nice.

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