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abuse

Abuse / Warning page
To all aidmates:
Please, DO NOT POST YOUR EMAIL addresses! Keep your privacy. Communicate via private or public AIDPAGE MESSAGES - it is easy, convenient and above all it is SAFE.


--- August 3, 2006


I was approached by an aidmate with question about a fraudulent loan offer. This gave me the idea to create an Abuse / Warning page where all aidmates can post their similar experience in order to warn others.

Given the number of aidmates that are talking about financial problems, and the fact that Aidpage is free for everybody, unfortunately, it is unavoidable to have spammers, liars and dishonest people. We are doing as much as we can to keep the system open and at the same moment to identify such parties. The system is performing automatic post-processing for known fraudulent schemes and is deleting the identified accounts. Aidpage is removing some accounts – mostly international Nigerian-like “loan givers”. This is why, once in a while, some of you are receiving email notifications for messages. Then, when you login, there is no message - it was deleted in the meantime by the system. Unfortunately, we are far from 100% successful in this identification process.

So, what should we do? Here are several suggestions I can think of:

  1. Use common sense!
  2. Be careful and communicate through Aidpage only. Nobody needs your email or phone to talk to you. They can do it easily on Aidpage and yet they would not have access to your information (unless you let them).
  3. Any legitimate lender or grant giving organization should identify itself publicly. Such institutions cannot be hidden or secret.
  4. Whoever claims to represent an organization should be able to post all pertinent information about him/herself and the organization – address, phone, full name, type of business etc – right here on Aidpage. This is a simple advertising for the company and it cannot be a secret. On the other hand, you don’t have to give any information about yourself – their business info is public, your personal info is not!
  5. Once you’ve got all the info, go ahead and check them out. Ask aidmates that you can trust for advice. Make sure you know with whom you are dealing.
  6. Then, there are individuals willing to help. This is the best thing happening on Aidpage. However, their personal information is as private as yours. They may not want to expose themselves publicly and this is absolutely understandable. Anonymous charity is common.
  7. In case someone wants to send you money, they can do it via Paypal. You just need your own Paypal account – it is easy and free. This way, you don’t have to give out any sensitive personal information – like home address, phone, bank accounts, social security number, birth date, etc. You may consider creating a special email for Paypal only.

I do believe good people vastly outnumber the bad guys, anyway.

 


chasersmom
Here since: Jan 3, 2007
38
Comment: Hi Everyone, I am new to this...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Abuse / Warning page"

Hi Everyone, I am new to this site but I have been reading all your comments regarding equimark investment group. I was searching for this company and this site came up. I was actually scammed yesterday with a similiar company. The name is Brace Lending Group in Long Beach California. I was contacted by them telling me that I was approved for a loan and I needed to wire $1000 to some guy named Peter Walsh in Canada. I was leary but I asked questions and checked the Better Business Bureau. There were no negative reports on them. They sent me a loan contract and I had someone else look it over. He said it looked legit. I wired the money yesterday. Today the money was supposed to be in my account it wasn't. I called the person I was dealing with Millie Kaleri and left 8-10 messages. She never returned my calls. I also started dialing in extensions and what a surprise nobody picked up their phone. On the website www.bracelendinggroup.com it lists two customer service numbers when you call them one disconnects you and the other is a pager. I called information and they had no number or address listed. If they were legit you should be able to get ahold of them. I am so upset right now. I filed a complaint on the labbb site. I am in such a financial mess right now. I don't know what to do. I am also scared because they have all my information and bank account number. I don't want this to happen to anyone else. Please beware. I also received a call from Andrew Bennett at Equimark Investment Group and he had approved me on a loan also with 4 payments upfront. I called him to ask questions about the loan and he asked me for the information and told me that they had a fraud department and maybe they could help me out. Oh my Gosh. I am telling him about all this and Him and his company are also a scam. How are all these people involved in this when they know they are hurting people and nothing has been done about it? How come they haven't been prosecuted? I also called moneygram of course they received the money on the other end. The girl that told me this said this is a huge scam right now with Canada and Nigeria. She said to file a police report and then maybe they could track this person down in Canada that took the money. Apparently they have to show id. I don't know what to do. Thanks for listening.
Comment: I Guess Equimark Investment...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Abuse / Warning page"

I Guess Equimark Investment strikes Again, I myself have been scammed, and now I have a big debt to pay. These people are riduculous! And somebody needs to stop them! Ps. I need a way to get a 5000 loan asap and get back on track.... I need some financial help...somebody please help me........
How to protect ourselves from scammers?

How to protect ourselves from scammers?

It is a real world and there are many types of people. I do believe that the vast majority consists of honest, decent people, unfortunately, there are also scammers, liars and so on. In most of the cases we are unable to recognize them from the first contact. If this contact is via anonymous communication it is even more difficult. Additionally, if the other person is a scammer, the chances are that you will be dealing with a person way more experienced than you with the Internet. Most of the scammers prefer to talk to you one-to-one. Of course! This way it is much easier to create a believable story and it is way more difficult to check this story. Sounds dangerous, doesn’t it? Yes it does, but only sounds like that. In reality it is not that difficult to protect yourself. There is a way to greatly minimize the risk of being scammed. I will try to explain it as simple as possible.

Everything starts with a simple rule:

USE COMMON SENSE!
It is not that difficult at all!

 

  1. Assume that the scammer is smarter than you. It doesn’t matter whether it is actually true. That assumption will help you a lot. Less ego is safer! If you do think that the scammer is smarter it is more likely to ask somebody else for help. Therefore, more likely to identify possible scam.

  2. All of you are used in the old way – ‘…here is my email, phone number or (even worst) my address – contact me…’. I know, it appears simple and forward, but it is stupid and dangerous. How about a new way of communication? How about keeping your privacy and keep communicating at the same time? Yes! There is a new way – use aidPage! Keep ALL of your communication with the aidmates via aidPage only. You have choice of public and private messages. It is even more convenient that the old email. What is more important – you exact location and email address are protected. So, the other party has no way to get this private information unless you give it to him/her yourself. Which brings us to the next question – when, how and how much information should we give to the other party?

  3. Will you give your home address or phone number to a complete stranger on the street? Probably not. Why you are doing it on the net?! What would be the common sense action on the street? You will try to get to know this person better. Perhaps, you will meet somewhere else; perhaps, you will take a friend with you…; perhaps after you feel more confident you may give him/her some more personal information about you. Sounds natural, isn’t it? Well, it is! Do exactly the same thing here. Talk to anybody you like. Ask other aidmates for their opinion about this person. Give yourself enough time to know this person.

    I do understand that when you are in trouble there is not much time and you would like to get help as soon as possible. That is probably true, but it is also true that you don’t want more troubles. So, remember – Patience is a virtue! What was the first rule - The scammer is smart. Ok, maybe, but being smart the scammer don’t like to invest too much time with you. He/she is in this for an easy catch. If you are patient, careful and you are asking questions you are not an easy catch. Most likely he/she will loose interest or in the mean time will be identified as scammer by you or some other aidmate. So, you are safe. On the other hand, if the other party is a decent person he/she will not be offended by your questions. He/she understands your worries and will be patient too. A person that is willing to help you will not ask you for anything in advance. It is not a trade – it is help!

  4. Let us say, you found an individual that is willing to help you by sending you some item that you need. There may be shipping charges involved. You might be willing to cover these charges. It is ok, but PLEASE don’t do this in advance! Think! Most likely the other person is better situation than yours. So, he/she can take care about these charges at least temporarily. Once, you receive the item, you can send shipping charges back. If you trust him/her with your address it is just fair to expect such trust back.

  5. If there are money involved. The best way is to use Paypal. It is easy, free and it is safe. Yes, it is easier to get a money order or a check, but it is also easier to counterfeit them. Remember – you are patient and you are not looking for trouble!

    One important note: If somebody is sending you money with a condition to distribute some of them to other parties this is almost 100% scam. Ask yourself why he/she needs this? If he/she want to send money to several people it is easy to be done. Why sending money to you to send them to somebody else? It is a scam!

  6. If the other party claims to be an organization then it is even easier. Any legitimate organization has a public website, publicly known address, phone and officers. If some of this information is missing or withhold there is something wrong! Alter all it is simple advertising for this organization. Ask yourself why it should be a secret? Ask them to publish this information on aidPage. This way other aidmates will be able to check them too.

  7. A word for the people willing to help. The above rules of communication are easily applicable to you too. After all you also don’t want to be scammed by dishonest individual claiming certain needs.

  8. Share your experience whether bad or good with other aidmates. Give yourself a chance to be warned on time and make aidPage a safer place by exposing the scammers.

Follow these simple rules and you will have safer and pleasant experience on aidPage.

Again, be patient and apply common sense!

 

Comment: Hello, I was recently contacted...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Abuse / Warning page"

Hello, I was recently contacted by Netwest Finance through a person calling himself Kevin Wong. He promised to lend me a large sum of money etc. I checked out Netwest on the web and found that the company name was being used as part of a scam. I never answered the ad. There is another USA based scam from a group calling itself American Loan Request. The principal person called himself Andy Campbell and his sidekick is Bob Sullivan, they scammed me out of $1800.00 through false loan promises. At the time they were operating out of Denver Colorado. Arnold
Comment: does anyone out there no where...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Abuse / Warning page"

does anyone out there no where i can get a legitimate loan of around $5000 for bad credit. I dont want ot be scammed and i was wondering if any one can help. thanks ranna1119
Comment: Got a call from Equimark today...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Abuse / Warning page"

Got a call from Equimark today same story as yours buyer beware. Also got a call from Highland Financial Group located in Ontario beware of them also same story co-signer with at least 60,000 per year income, 10-15% down sent to canada,super low payments, only problem is there is no company by that name there except a Insurance group. And when asked for a web site it showed they were located in Frankfurt Illinois. BIG SURPRISE their not there either!
Abuse turns into Disability and a life lost forever

I pray that this message will reach and touch the hearts of the ones who are still in an abusive relationship.Take my advice,if he hits you once,calls you degrading names,get out and fast.You could end up like me.Wasting the best part of your life trying to change that kind of man.I have looked back over my life and I see now that it was such a wasted life.Although I got three children out of it,they also were damaged by his abusing me.Now my two daughters are living the same nightmare and just like me thinking he will change.No he won't.TO BE CONTINUED

Comment: hello i wish i had found this...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Comment: Hi Everyone, I am new to this..."

hello i wish i had found this website before equimark got my money.I FEEL SO STUPID!Iknew something was not right,but like some of you i had someone look over the contract and they thought it was ligit also.Did anyone get back anything?
How to protect ourselves from scammers?

How to protect ourselves from scammers?

It is a real world and there are many types of people. I do believe that the vast majority consists of honest, decent people, unfortunately, there are also scammers, liars and so on. In most of the cases we are unable to recognize them from the first contact. If this contact is via anonymous communication it is even more difficult. Additionally, if the other person is a scammer, the chances are that you will be dealing with a person way more experienced than you with the Internet. Most of the scammers prefer to talk to you one-to-one. Of course! This way it is much easier to create a believable story and it is way more difficult to check this story. Sounds dangerous, doesn’t it? Yes it does, but only sounds like that. In reality it is not that difficult to protect yourself. There is a way to greatly minimize the risk of being scammed. I will try to explain it as simple as possible.

Everything starts with a simple rule:

USE COMMON SENSE!
            It is not that difficult at all!

  1. Assume that the scammer is smarter than you. It doesn’t matter whether it is actually true. That assumption will help you a lot. Less ego is safer! If you do think that the scammer is smarter it is more likely to ask somebody else for help. Therefore, more likely to identify possible scam.

  2. All of you are used in the old way – ‘…here is my email, phone number or (even worst) my address  – contact me…’. I know, it appears simple and forward, but it is stupid and dangerous. How about a new way of communication? How about keeping your privacy and keep communicating at the same time? Yes! There is a new way – use aidPage! Keep ALL of your communication with the aidmates via aidPage only. You have choice of public and private messages. It is even more convenient that the old email. What is more important – you exact location and email address are protected. So, the other party has no way to get this private information unless you give it to him/her yourself. Which brings us to the next question – when, how and how much information should we give to the other party?

  3. Will you give your home address or phone number to a complete stranger on the street? Probably not. Why you are doing it on the net?! What would be the common sense action on the street? You will try to get to know this person better. Perhaps, you will meet somewhere else; perhaps, you will take a friend with you…; perhaps after you feel more confident you may give him/her some more personal information about you. Sounds natural, isn’t it? Well, it is! Do exactly the same thing here. Talk to anybody you like. Ask other aidmates for their opinion about this person. Give yourself enough time to know this person.

    I do understand that when you are in trouble there is not much time and you would like to get help as soon as possible. That is probably true, but it is also true that you don’t want more troubles. So, remember – Patience is a virtue! What was the first rule - The scammer is smart. Ok, maybe, but being smart the scammer don’t like to invest too much time with you. He/she is in this for an easy catch. If you are patient, careful and you are asking questions you are not an easy catch. Most likely he/she will loose interest or in the mean time will be identified as scammer by you or some other aidmate. So, you are safe. On the other hand, if the other party is a decent person he/she will not be offended by your questions. He/she understands your worries and will be patient too. A person that is willing to help you will not ask you for anything in advance. It is not a trade – it is help!

  4. Let us say, you found an individual that is willing to help you by sending you some item that you need. There may be shipping charges involved. You might be willing to cover these charges. It is ok, but PLEASE don’t do this in advance! Think! Most likely the other person is better situation than yours. So, he/she can take care about these charges at least temporarily. Once, you receive the item, you can send shipping charges back. If you trust him/her with your address it is just fair to expect such trust back.

  5. If there are money involved. The best way is to use Paypal. It is easy, free and it is safe. Yes, it is easier to get a money order or a check, but it is also easier to counterfeit them. Remember – you are patient and you are not looking for trouble!

    One important note: If somebody is sending you money with a condition to distribute some of them to other parties this is almost 100% scam. Ask yourself why he/she needs this? If he/she want to send money to several people it is easy to be done. Why sending money to you to send them to somebody else? It is a scam!

  6. If the other party claims to be an organization then it is even easier. Any legitimate organization has a public website, publicly known address, phone and officers. If some of this information is missing or withhold there is something wrong! Alter all it is simple advertising for this organization. Ask yourself why it should be a secret? Ask them to publish this information on aidPage. This way other aidmates will be able to check them too.

  7. A word for the people willing to help. The above rules of communication are easily applicable to you too. After all you also don’t want to be scammed by dishonest individual claiming certain needs. 

  8. Share your experience whether bad or good with other aidmates. Give yourself a chance to be warned on time and make aidPage a safer place by exposing the scammers.

Follow these simple rules and you will have safer and pleasant experience on aidPage.

Again, be patient and apply common sense!

hopeful_gal
Here since: Apr 19, 2007
Female, 39
Struggling Sole Proprietor of Web Design Biz
Small Town in SE Part of State, Wisconsin, USA
Languages: English
Hi Fellow Helpers,

I'm uncertain how this site works, so if I make a mistake or make a wrong request, please let me know. I'm a little shy about putting up a picture of my face - so I put this one up instead. It is embarassing to have these sorts of financial and physical problems and putting up my picture for all the world to see at the same time.

My reason for being here:
To seek help in finally securing my own place to live, here in the USA, in the state of Missouri. I don't care if my house is super tiny - but I want something that is all mine.

How much total money will it take?
$30,000 for a very small house, on a tiny piece of land. (taxes are more affordable on a small house!) But any amount would help me get there - even $1 would be a step in the right direction.

-> Click Here to Make Donation with PayPal


How do I know this enough money?
I know Missouri well and really like it there. An added bonus is that I have a few friends there already, so I won't be totally alone.  When I visited there, I checked out pricing to make sure this would work out. I came up with 2 ways of making the money stretch far enough:
  • (BEST Option 1) There are always about a dozen small older houses for sale in this price range (fixer-uppers, older neighborhoods) in a couple towns there. This would give me the most living space for the money - although it would need some repairs for that price
  • (Other Option 2)   If necessary I will consider buying a used trailer home and buying a piece of land to put it on. I'm a bit concerned about the safety of this sort of home especially in that tornado prone region. Plus, friends of my boyfriend bought a used trailer, and they spent twice as much on repairs to make it safe ... so I'm not excited about this option - but it would be better than nothing if all else fails.

About me:
I am a small woman with Fibromyalgia - which is a disease which is not cure-able. If you don't know what it is: imagine feeling pains like when you have the flu - muscles and joints are sore almost all the time - those pains are a daily experience with fibromyalgia ....  migraines come frequently, serious stomach problems occur frequently, sleep disorders cause such poor sleep that you really almost never get good rest, and light and sound are almost unbearable in the mornings. Fibro also causes my muscles to twitch and spasm. The fibromyalgia also makes me extremely sensitive to products and medicines - which can give me hives, excema (sp?) and rashes. Serious depression is common among sufferers of Fibromyalgia - and I'm no exception to that. (Mornings are the worst for all of my symptoms! - things can lighten up in the afternoon if I take it easy) I'm working very hard to control all my symptoms and am showing big improvement compared to last year.

Due to my illness, and an injury that I sustained 6 years ago (back injury from accident - finally healed that!) I ended up living with my relatives. I had to get rid of almost all of my possessions and my beloved pets and horse. This is a highly painful living arrangement due to the emotional and verbal abuse I endured here as a child, and continue to endure now that I'm back in my relatives daily lives. It is unbearable not being able to have pets in this house. I know that sounds small - but I feel I'm dying of loneliness here.

How am I trying to fix this:
Before I got hurt and ill -  I had started my own graphic design business. I designed product catalogs, did photography, and designed web sites for small businesses. I was making enough to get by. Then 6 years ago I suffered injury and illness. NOW, I am restarting my efforts of working and getting clients - but focussing on web design only. (I really can't afford all the equipment and software to do everything else right now to do photography and product catalogs anymore - so web design is enough for me right now). I am contacting businesses and trying to secure them as clients. Working for myself is the only option for employment - because of my illness. I am ill so often that any employer would be frustrated with me having to call in sick too often. But by working for myself, if I need a break because of illness, I take one - and then get back to work later the same day or night.  It is slow going - but I know I can eventually get there. But .....

Here's a problem:
I am having a very hard time fighting the depression and dealing with the extremely abusive situation I am living in. If I could get into my own home, I could work so much better, I could feel healthier, and have a life instead of feeling hopeless and alone.

Can you help me?
Any amount of money (even $1), or ideas, or you could hire me to design for you, would be so appreciated.  I plan to put all money into a savings account until I get enough to get my house. Can I do it before the end of 2007?

Thanks for listening.

PS: If you would want to hire me to develop a web site - that would be wonderful!

Any Donation (Even $1) Gratefully Accepted. (Made Via PayPal)




Big Katt
Here since: May 9, 2008
Female, 20
Chilton, Texas
Languages: English

Hey  !! My name is Crystal Coleman I am 20 yrs old and I have two twin boys that are Five months old and their names are Trevor & Leland . They are my Life. . To start off. Evey since I was little I was always in a family that did drugs and stayed in trouble I never knew my mom very well because she was in and out of jail, and I finally met my real dad when I turned 18YRS.I grew up with two brothers one is in jail now and has been in jail since he was 16. My little brother in in high school now and it is his senior year. When i was little i was sexual molested by my Uncle.. I felt that i could not tell anyone but when i did i told my Grandparents because they were the one we called mom and dad . When i told them they didnt belive me so the sent me off to live with my aunt here in Texas.. When i moved here i was treated like crap i had to go to school, cook dinner , wash dishes , wash clothes, clean my aunts room and rub her feet in the middle of a a school night . Her thought on school was that it came after what she wanted me to do for her! I belived in school first .. Anyways I finally ran away from her house at the age of 17 , from their i lived from house to house, and went to school. Thats when i met my husband , I fell in love i thought he was the real thing so we got married Oct 28, 2006 , but little did i know that when I said i do i would be put threw Physicaly and Emotional abuse. ( I got married at 18) I just put up with the abuse because i had no family to run to ... When i got married i was still in High School my husband didnt want me to go to school because he thought i would flirt with the boys , and he didnt want me to go on any school trips for all the same reasons.. Well thats when it all strarted the first time he just punched me in the face once and called me many names but I belived that he loved me so I didnt want to leave him.. But i did and when I had no were to turn to or no one to turn to I went back to him ... and the abuse got worse i had just had my gawbladder taken out when he decided to beat me the second time i was on the couch he decided that he wanted me to go to bed with him and i told him i was not ready for bed that i would be in the room in a min , well he didnt like that he followed me to the bath room and beat me in the shower , when he was beating me I went into an asthma attack and and refused to give me my medication. I left him that time for the second time. But as you might know already i went back because i felt in love and i felt that I couldn't live with out him. The third time he beat me he stopped in the middle of the high way and was yelling at me i told him to get out and let me drive because he was driving crazy because a EMS worker waved at me , when he got out of his little blue GMC truck i slidded over to the drivers side and as i was reaching for the door my husband grabed the door and slamed my head and arm in it many times and left me on the side of the road . This time i was determined i was not going back to him my aunt let me move in and while i was at school she also let him move in felt traped so i was with him again.. The Last time he beat me i was pregnate My friend was going to throw a graduation party for me because i had grauated well i was maken glasses for my party that said Senior Class Of 2007 and in the middle of maken a glass my husband asked me a question I didnt understand him so i asked him what he said and he started beating me, little did i know i was pregnant he held me in a conner and beat me and when i tryied to call the cops he took the phone and beat me more and the tore the house phone out of the wall and called his step mom and told her not to let me use the phone... I got out and when i did i went to the hospital and i found out i was pregnant 2 weeks later i was so excited but when i went to the hospital i found out that i was suspost to have triplets but when my husband beat me i lost a child. I was so upset with him, i couldnt figure out why he would beat me so much and just think everything was ok. I stayed away from my husband for 4 months and then i decided i was going to give him one more chance and this time it was not for me it was for the kids.. Well i didnt go threw physical abuse this time it was all emotional abuse this last time and i ended up having my babys earily because of all of stress and stuff he made me do , When i had the kids i thought it would change my kids lived in the hospital for 35 days after they were born i never got to touch my babys when they were born just a little while after they were in the hospital. They had so many cords on them because i had them 2 months earily. I went everyday to see my babys and my husband started getting jelious so i told him he better fix his act because if he didnt that the kids and i was leavin because we didnt have to put up with his crap. When the babys got out it was getting worse he didnt want me to have anything to do with my kids, and remember me telling you that my kids are my world well my kids gave me the strength to leave him for good , I went to a Family Abuse Center for a week now im living with a friend and i am getting a divorce. Every now and then I think mabey I should just go back because it might be easyier to just live with him because I have no car , no money and no house, but you know what  I refuse to go back to him when im breaking down and thinking about going back I listen to music . I Call this a Lesson Learned, and hold my two wonderful boys . Because it was a lesson Learned . I learned the hard way , but alway turn to god even when no one eles is their he is!! God knows what i went threw and he will take care of it at the end!!

Comment: I recently received an e-mail...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Abuse / Warning page"

I recently received an e-mail from a guy named DR. Ted Pearson. He said he found my loan application on an ad. He said I needed to write a formal letter telling why I needed it, what I needed it for, and if I had any collateral, he then said e-mail it to me and I will forward it to our datamanagement department for consideration. He said he was in africa at the time working on a $9 million dollar collateral deal. He said if I was considered, I would receive an e-mail back from the datamanagement department saying I was considered. Well I just received a consideration e-mail back and it said I now need to request a "grant form" from this dr. ted pearson guy and then it would take them two days to determine if I would get the loan or not. It is a place called ROYAL FINANCE, and the guys name from datamanagement was Anton Whyte. Does anybody know about this?
Abused wife & kids

Dear friends,

My name is Debbie. I am 34 years of age.  I have two kids aged 3 & 18months.  I am in a abusive marrige of 7 years and I desperately need out!  The abuse is starting to affect my kids aswell, and I can't sit around and see this happen anymore.  I am a hardworking Mother, I don't smoke or use any substances.  I have just made a wrong choice in a partner and now I am stuck!  I earn a third of what my husband earns and the house is in his name.  After car payments and baby formula & nappies, I don't have any money left.  I need to make a break, but I can't afford it financially.  Please - anybody - if you can see it fit to help me out of this nightmare - I would appreciate it very, very much!  I don't want me and my kids to just become a statistic in the newspaper if his rage continues.  To move costs a lot of money, the deposits etc.

Kind Regards

Debbie

 

CANT SMILE
Here since: Jun 17, 2007
Female, 38
stay at home mom
Cuero, Texas, USA
Languages: english

I am a stay-at-home mom with 2 children still at home. Please allow me to tell you about myself. When I was very young, my parents divorced. I grew up with 2 families of dysfunctional and abusive parents and step-parents. I became pregnant with my first child at the age of 18, right out of high school. I was blessed with a beautiful daughter. Unfortunately, I was forced to raise her alone. It seemed I was cursed, as every man I began a relationship with turned out to be physically and/or mentally abusive. I can't count the number of times I was hit in the face or slammed against the wall. With my parent's history, I believed this was normal behavior. Then about 11 years ago, God blessed me by introducing me to my husband. He is a good, decent, loving man who taught me the true nature of love and life. It took me a long time to change my thinking and accept normal love. God has blessed us with 2 children together, a boy and a girl. Unfortunately, my abusive past has left me with scars and agony. I learned a few years ago that my lower back was injured severely and I am in constant pain. Multiple childbirths aggravated the injury. I am on several, hard, pain medications to help me make it through my normal days. Also, the repeated hits to my mouth injured my teeth and jaws to the point that my teeth are deteriorating rapidly. I am unable to eat many foods and I find my teeth break off frequently. All of this also causes me constant pain.

I am in need of extensive, dental surgery to save or replace my teeth and end that portion of my pain. I am also in need of back surgery to hopefully restore at least partial stability to my back and end that portion of my pain.

Unfortunately, my husbands insurance does not cover but a small portion of my needs and none of the dentists or doctors will begin the necessary procedures without a full, advance payment.

 My husband has worked 2 jobs since we were married in an attempt to pay our bills and take care of me. He lost his best-paying job last year and we are now seriously past due on most of our bills, including our mortgage.

I am hoping that with the help of God and some caring, compassionate people, I might be able to have the  dental and medical treatments I need to smile again. My husband has given me a reason to smile for the first time in my life. Please help me.

My dream is to become a licensed counselor to help other people free themselves from the horrors of drugs and abuse. Without the medical and dental treatments I need, this dream will never come true.

battered wife
Here since: Jul 14, 2007
Female, 28
Missouri, USA

I'm not someone who usually asks anyone for help. I'm a 28 y/o mother of three who is in an abusive relationship. Finally opening my eyes I've been desperately trying to get out of the situation but recently lost my job and am currently pennyless. I'm about to lose my current home and only vehicle. I have tried to get help through local organizations and the only thing they will do is put me in a lice infested woman's shelter. I'm desperate. I need about $800 right now just to keep my car and my home. I'm applying for jobs on a daily basis. I also need enough money to find another place to live so I can get away from my boyfriend. I've asked him to leave which only leads to fights at the end of which he still won't leave. He hasn't physically abused me in a while so the police won't do anything and I don't know where to turn. I found this website and am praying that someone might help me out. I'm willing to repay the money when I get out and on my feet. I've worked since I was 12 y/o and have only been unemployed for 2 weeks (unemployment was due to unexpected closure of my place of employment). Please I'm desperate. I was most recently waiting tables and bartending and had no savings so I lived day to day literally just making enough to pay my bills. I can't get any social aide until I get my birth certificate which cost $32 that I don't have to acquire so welfare isn't even an option. I just want to keep my car and get away from this man. Any help would be most appreciated.

 

Looking for a way out

Help!

Long story short, i'm in an abusive relationship. I moved states away from my original home to be with him, but now I want out. I have no family to come back to, only a friend who cannot afford to bring me back home. He's moved out all of my things, sold them, and I have nothing but clothes. I tried the local shelters, but they can only help for so long, and they told me I have to be on a waiting list which takes 6 months or longer for them to get anyone moved out to a better place. I was laid off from my job and he spent all of my bank account money. I have no money. I just need enough money to get a place for a few months or a plane ride home. It's hard to talk to anyone as he won't let me leave while he is home, and I am not allowed to use the phone at that time either. With no family, I have no one else who could help. I am looking for suggestions, help, help help, donations, anything! e-mail me at foetale78@yahoo.com

- Jessica

Damage of past abuse is affecting my jaw and teeth now

 Hello,

Can you help me find someone who can help me? they can use my pictures for before and after pictures, tax right off, small monthy payments, whatever the requisition is for help. I am a single mother who 10 years ago was in a relationship the nearly cost me and my son's life. He was born when I was only 6 month pregnant due to abuse. Due to a technicality of his charges the victims advocay agency would not help pay for the five surgerys I have had to have to restore my face, and jaw. I am a single mother who has 1,500 a year on my dental plan, and I can not afford to complete the restoration of my jaw. At first they though I had TMJ, but later discovered it was cronic malifacial disorder due to the blows to my face, I took on a second job to follow their advise of braces, I can not afford to continue the plan, I am barely making rent, and my son does not even have health insurance, and he is in need of his front tooth being fixed also. If anyone is willing to help us I am sure the results will be amazing, and it would be exceptonal PR for your agency. I do not have a home, I rent, I drive my dads truck and I work with abused women and children, so they never have to experience that life of fear and pain again. I even have a tape of my son talking to the state about the fear of the abuse he saw. I, until that day never realized he knew or saw anything. Does someone have a heart big enough to help a family like us, we have tied several different options, but the bottm line was always money, and for me that is a decision between groceries for my son, or completing my dental work for releif. the stress is overwhelming, and last night a part of my tooth broke off as I do not have the money to go to a dentist or orthadontist to complete what I started 5 years ago. Its not the small amount that is the problem, if they would take a small amount I could work around it, but they want about 3000.00- 4000.00 to complete this. I can travewl as my dad can assist me with some travel expenses, and we have a tent so we are ok sleeping outside, any one willing to help would be a gift. I have always thought that if you do the right things in life and help people, that somehow it would come back to you in a possitive way and you get helped back, this may be my last chance.

Pres. ~Baby James Foundation~
Here since: Jan 6, 2008
Female, 39
SAHM
Ramsey, IL
Languages: English

I am founder and President of Baby James Foundation for children of abuse and their non abusive families.  We are as well trying to pass a law there if you would please read Baby James Story and sign the law here.  Baby James is my stepson who was abused by his biomother that I am working on adopting.  If you would like assistance through the foundation you may also fill out an application which can as well be found on the above link.

I have 3 biological children; Nicholas 20, Megan 16, and a angel son (Justin) who would be 17.  Justin was stillborn at 8 1/2 months along.  I as well concider Baby James mine and he always will be.

I am married to my third husband, James' biofather who means the world to me. 

I am a survivor of sexual, physically and emotionally abused as a child.  I was then abused physically and emotionally with my 2nd husband. 

I enjoy writing poems and working on websites in my free time. I love all animals especially dogs though. 

Abuse survivor, single mom needs help

I'm an abuse survivor, and last year I was finally able to escape my marriage after 22 years. My oldest son is away, serving in the U.S. Military, and I have dependent children living at home.

During my marriage,  I was not allowed to develop a career outside of my home. I've been doing volunteer and community service for many years however, and I've been able to assemble a good resume (administrative/clerical). But I have three barriers to employment: 1. I'm over the age of 45, 2. I live in the State of Michigan, and 3.  I've been out of the workforce for so long that I can't find a single employer that will give me a break.

My children and I have been eating out of the food pantries for nearly a year now and we are all physically sick, and emotionally exhausted. I have suffered permanant health problems because I've not been able to maintain the special diet that my health requires.

Our financial situation is quite serious: my financial resources are exhausted, and we are living well below the poverty  line... I struggle to pay our most basic expenses every month. I never get them all paid, and my mortgage is falling behind.  I have no emergency fund, and no savings. I have over 8,000.00 in debt that I did not incur during my marriage, but I am now responsible for... I try not to think about it, all that we are able to do now is survive.

I am also all alone in the community where I live, and have no friends or family members to depend upon... no support system whatsoever. It's been a very hard time for my family.

I have two immediate and desperate needs: a job, and about $800.00 to replace my 26 year old vehicle.
The engine is failing rapidly, and we will soon be without transportation. I will not be able to continue my search for employment without a car.

I am asking readers to make a small pledge, in any amount, to help me purchase a used automobile... my most immediate need. If I have friends who are willing to assist my family, I'll set up a PayPal account for that purpose. I will perform one hour of community service work for every 50.00 pledged with an additonal 6-8 hours of volunteer time per month for the next six months pledged, if I achieve my goal by December the 1st.

If you are an employer in Southwest Michigan, or you can make a referral for me where you work, please contact me. I'm a sharp, skilled and motivated individual with a strong work ethic and an excellent clerical/administrative resume, and I will be a real asset to your company or corporation. I will accept any legitimate position that I can find in Southwest Michigan. I am seeking daytime/1st shift work as I have no support system and am caring for my children alone.

It is very hard for me to ask for help, but my children have suffered enough and so have I... please consider my family, and keep us in your prayers.

I have been abused, and abandoned by my husband I am sick and cannot work

I got sick a few months ago and my husband abandoned me.  But, not before he verbally and mentally abused me by name calling and saying very hurtful damaging things to me.  Tonight as I write this I am facing hunger, I have been eating dogfood.  My utilities are being cut off on 07/20/07 and I have no one to help me.  My husband took all the money, stole my jewelry which I could have sold for money for my meds in which I am now out of, daily I grow more desparate and I have no one to help me.  I have tried all local agancies even our womens shelters are full.  please help me I am trying to get some work to do at home if I can get help to get me over the hump and keep my utilites on for just 30 more days I can work on the web and make money.  But in 5 days all my hope is gone and I will have no where or nothing to believe in any more.  This is the first time in my life and I am 47 years old I have reached out for help.

Abuse victim in need of help...Please..

My husband has yelled, beaten, tortured, and abused in everyother way imaginable, me  for 7 years now. He has kept me trapped by refusing to let me work, or even out of the house. I can't take it anymore. My kids love him, but want to move away from him. It hurts them too. I cant take it anymore..I know I could go to shelters, but you dont know my ex- army ranger husband... I need my own place...That's all... I'll work my ass off for any/everything else... Just don't know where to turn....Thank you for your time, God bless...

Need help in getting my daughter back.

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Stacy Yvette Massard and I am asking the courts to give me another opportunity to be a mother to my child. I know you are probably asking me the question why now after all these years have gone by. Well for all those years I just didn’t sit around and did noting. I have tried on several occasions to get my daughter back the one big issue was money it takes money to go to court. I have asked certain people for money even churches but they said they just didn’t have the funds to help. You are probably going to ask me another question how did my mother got custody in the first place, well when I was about 22 years of age I got into some trouble and went to jail for 2 years which was fraudulent  checks. I meet the father of my child when I was about 21 years old; you see I never knew what love was because my mother never give it to me. So what I thought was love to me I got for him, my entire mother would tell me when I was little is that I wish you were dead and that she hated me. She would beat me and my sister for any little thing. If you have ever seen the movie called Sybil with the actress Sally Field in it that was almost how me and my sister childhood was when I was 22 I went to an abuse shelter for women in Orangeburg, SC for mother abusing me. My sister was about 20 when she also went to the shelter to get away from my mother abuse. When she found out that I was pregnant with my daughter she tried to make loss my child by making me drink really hot coffee and taking castor oil so I could loss my daughter went that didn’t work she tried to killed me by putting a knife to my neck, but my sister beg and pled with my mother not to do it. So she decided to take me for away from the town we live in she took me from Holy Hill, SC to August Georgia where I was homeless and had no where to go. The last words she said to me is to us both a favor and just over a that bridge and kill yourself and the bitch inside of you. At one time I started to do it but I said to myself the devil is a lair. And I survived that ordeal and I than God that he was with me in the time of need. Another reason why I think I waited so long because I had low self esteem about me that I would be and good mother my mom still in so many way still had control of my mind like I was still that scared little girl, I guess what I am trying to say is I still feared her. Right now if you look at my face on the top of my forehead you will see a big scare that’s where she hit me in the head with a broom stick and dare me to tell my dad. She has also made me eat my own vomit on several occasions. When I was a little girl I had real bad nerves and I couldn’t keep food on my stomach so I would throw it right back up. If you would look in my daughters face she also has a scare in her face because she really don’t car for my daughter you probably asking how do I know this. well here are some ways I cant tell she mistreats my daughter she my her wear really big clothes like she use to do make she make her to pretend likes she is dumb and retarded so she can get a special needs check for her if you think my daughter is retarded just check her school records when she was in school she did really well that’s why she took my daughter out of school because she was afraid of my daughter doing so well that they would cut her special needs check off that she is getting for her about lying and saying my daughter is retarded. My mother lives in a two bed room apartment my 15 year old sister, grandmother and my daughter share a little tiny bed room everybody has a bed to sleep on except my daughter and she sleep on the hard floor I brought her a nice blow up bed so she can sleep more comfortable. Then sleeping on a hard floor but when I came back to visit her she had her sleeping on the hard floor again. In my opinion my mother isn’t qualify to be a home school teacher, because so don’t know how to spell or do math. I have went to college and I have did student teaching at Nix Elementary and Sub at Bowman High and Elementary and I don’t fell like I am qualify enough to be a home school teacher. I love my mom despite how she has treated me. I just have to let God handle her. I need my daughter back in my left so my life cant be complete because for al these year that I went by with out my life has been incomplete my mom don’t even let me take my daughter any where most of the time when I called and ask to talk to her she tell me no not right now. Life is so short I know I can be a good mother please just give me the chance. I just need a little help with attoreny fees please can you help me. My attorney name is Tina Herbert her office is in Columbia, SC her phone number is 803-779-2300. My # is 803-546-1795.

SIngle Mother of abused child in Oregon

I am posting this asking for any help or resources for my best friend. She is an amazing proud 24 year old single mother of a 3 year old daughter. She is divorced from the father of the daughter who was extremely abusive. He is an Iraq veteran and now a jobless drug addict. He pays no child support and is living in his parent’s basement. While visiting her dad the little girl was sexually abused (by her uncle) recently according to child protective services and due to her young age there is not solid enough evidence to charge anyone with a crime. Her mother who is a 2nd year full time college student has had to move back into a small room in her parent’s house with her daughter. She is at risk of having to drop out of school due to her overwhelming debt accrued during the divorce by her dead beat ex. She had to run up credit card bills to buy formula and diapers for the baby.

She is in a debt repayment program already and paying 250 dollars a month to pay off around 9,000 in credit card debt. She also has a 188 dollar a month car payment on a car that she needs to be able to get herself to school and her daughter to daycare. Her daughter is enrolled in a head start school program for at risk youth that allows mom to go to school during the day. She does not qualify for welfare because she would have to work full time. If she worked full time she would have to drop out of school and then start paying off yet another monthly bill of student loans that would be of no value as she does not have a degree yet. Her daughter would then also not qualify for daycare and she would end up having to pay full price for it.

Her parents are poor and unwilling to help and want her out of the house soon. She thought about selling her car so that she could save money but she would not be able to commute from where she is to school and daycare and the value of the car is only about half the total left to pay it off.

If she files for bankruptcy I think she will lose the car that she needs. If she works she would have to pay for daycare as family will not watch the child and the cost of daycare I think is too high. She is also very worried about the negative impact her parents are having on her mother/daughter relationship as anytime she tries to discipline her daughter her mother undermines her authority. Her mother also fills the grandchild up on sugar and lets the kid stay up until midnight. This makes it impossible for my friend to get her homework done as her mo0ther yells at her to take care of her daughter, but then gets mad when she makes her go to bed. My friend’s mother is an extremely conservative woman who feels that going to school is the wrong thing and that she should drop out of college because it is not the right thing for a woman to do. She is trying to sabotage her daughters fight to succeed as a single mother.

My friend has two cavities, and needs glasses and does not have any medical insurance. She found out that she may even be getting a bill for 1000 dollars for bringing her daughter to the emergency room in regards to the sexual molestation by the uncle.

My best friend has had a very hard life, father left mom at the age of 10 for another man, molested by people her whole childhood, and first raped at age 14 and repeatedly over her teen years. She is worried about her daughter falling into the same horrible problems. I am trying to find sources of help for her so that she can succeed in providing a better life for her daughter than she had. I myself am helping as much as I can, which is not much being a student myself. She is a very determined woman going to school majoring in sociology so that she can get a job making a difference in those less fortunate. It is extremely hard for her to ask for help, so I am for her.

Looking for a helping hand with:

  1. Dental care

  2. Glasses

  3. Medical bill for child

  4. Help paying off credit card debt

  5. Money for rent or school

  6. Daycare assistance so she can work more

At this point every little drop in the bucket can help; clothing is the one thing that they have plenty of as it seems to be the only easy help to get.

 

 

Help me leave my mate, please

I have seen how many people are on here looking for the same thing. I am going to be another person added to that list. I know you can't believe everything or anything over the internet. So, I will not blame anyone for laughing at what I am writing. However, I am running out of options and this is my last resort.  I am the type of person where I will try to help others if or as much as I can. I am in a relationship right now where my mate moved me from Hawaii back to Pennsylvania.  He is violent and controlling to me. He doesn't know how to talk to or treat my daughter so he is constantly yelling at her for nonsense. I am not allowed to leave the house or talk to anyone. We live in a small town in Pennsylvania right now. I left him 2 weeks ago, but since I am not allowed to leave the house, I didn't know where to go...So, I went to my neighbors house and she was nice enough to let me stay the night...Unfortunately, I had to go back with him for security reasons.  For the past 2 weeks, I have been applying everywhere, including McDonalds, for jobs to make enough for 2 plane tickets. I am not asking for a hand-out at all. What I am looking for is a way to get back to Hawaii with my family. I need enough for 2 plane tickets (for me and my daughter) and that's it. I am a college graduate and I know that finding a job will be no problem. So, Can anyone lead me in the direction of someone or an agency that can lend me enough to get back where I belong? Any imput will ge greatly appreciated. You can even email me criticism as long as its constructive criticism.  Thanks again. 

Comment: I was scammed by equimark....
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Abuse / Warning page"

I was scammed by equimark. I was contacted by a matthew davidson and a colin baxter. They said that they could get me a high loan with a low intrest rate. I filled out all the "paper work" and then they said they needed a collateral payment of 1200 and that my money would be in my bank the next day,it wasn't. I called them over and over but all they would give me were excuses and then they would put me on hold or hang up or they wouldn't even answer. I filles a comlaint with bbc and fdc and filed a police report. Everyone says there's nothing I can do. Basically I lost all my money. If anyone knows what I can do, please help.
I need help!

I spent eight years with an abusive man. I thought that I had finally found one this time that wasn't but this past weekend after two years my boyfriend knocked me around the house and when I tried to run with my three kids he pulled some things from under the hood of my car. The car started anyway and I got away but when I arrived at my mothers home which is fifteen minutes from mine my car was engulfed in flames. The children and I are okay but now my boyfriend is in jail and he took all the money we had for the rent. My life has once again been flipped upside down and I need some help! I have called all the local agiences and no one seems to be able to help.

Comment: I also go this same email,...
Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Comment: I recently received an e-mail..."

I also go this same email, but I am dealing with Dr.Rose Betley. I have contacted the lawyer and he wants money 1000 fast 2 day turn around -1200 one week turn around time to sign the papers half-payment now then the rest when I recieve the money (sent Western Union). I have not sent any money nor will I. I have asked Dr Betley about a thousand question and she is very good about answering everyone of them. I have also tried to back several times and she pulls me back in everytime. I can't imagine them working this hard for 500 to 600 dollars. I will continue to play the game for awhile. If you find out anything else please let me know
musiqal
Here since: Oct 4, 2006
Female, 32
Coordinator
Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Languages: english
I am a single mom of one son who is autistic .. i work fulltime 5 days a week ..  just got out of a very abusive relationship so Im feeling pretty good-- despite my current circumstances.
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