It started 5 years ago I had a decent job and so did my husband.  I was pregnant with our first child together and already raising two of my own and a step-daughter.  I gave birth to our daughter 4wks early and my comp pay was delayed for 6 weeks, and husband lost job 2 days after her birth..  We moved to my home state where it took 2 ms to find job, lived in 2 bedroom trailer with 4 kids. We filed bankruptcy paying 720 mnth for 5 years is hard.  Husband has since been laid off three times and my health had prohibited me from working.  I was pregnant in 2005, gave birth at 31 weeks, been on bed rest before then for 2 mnths, emergancy c-section 5 hours away from family in hospital, and had two more surgeries in 6weeks to follow. Son was okay at birth considering, but has since stayed sick, and has had surgeries, asthma, and sweat disorder. I want to work so bad but due to husbands hours and sons allergies, it is impossible. we don't live in trailer but still in three bedroom house it 's crowded.  I realy just want a sounding board.  We are about to get dismiissed from our bankruptcy but not because its through, we have missed payments.  My children had to start school nad it is so expensive.  We dont' qualify for aid.  Know one considers us paying out so much in bills we must do by law.  I guess we should have let the vehicles go.. how would we get to Drs.1 hour from here for my children???? How would husband get to work??? No public transportation here.This is just some of the bad luck we've had..... I just keep thinking its good luck with a cloud over it.. I could have died, my son could have died. There is a lining, its just hard to find through my dark cloud.  I just want to keep my cars,   not but 9 months left, and maybe we can catch up on our other billsand rent .   I am so unlike myself.  I cut my own hair now, go with out clothes and makeup,  it'sjust not me, but my kids and husband need it more than I. It just makes a women lose her idenity sometimes and is so depressing. I hope that I don't seem like a joke, I just need some answers. Anyone I have been a mother for thirteen years now since i was 19.  I have had such heat ache in trying to provide for my children and not ever staying on top hurts.

AAAARGH!!!!  - We are still not ahead, still behind.    We have had a bad year so far, due to bad feed.   But then we are not the only ones.   Our goats got hit with Toxoplasmosis, and we got hit with milk fever, etc.    So though we had a lot of babies born, very few survived,   Many were born premature.   We are still ploughing ahead, still no help from the Government, we are still trying.  If we could just get enough money together, to buy a place, to get some equipment even, we would be able to take at least one step forward, but it seems that there is such bad luck.  I've gotten sick myself from a flu, and of course, since we are still waiting on our tax refund, we don't have any milking machine, and thus, no goats got milked when I was sick.  I have had to turn people away because we have no milk to sell due to lack of equipment.    I wish some help would come, or that we would win the lotto.    My dream is to get this up and running and in turn help others, but again - its a dream - and nobody cares about the little goats, ! We also have a few cats which were dumped, about 3 dogs, chickens, ducks, as well as our 4 children!  So it would be nice.