transparent
Custom color #:
close
Move up Move right Move down Move left
Set Show more as default view Set Show less as default view

New? Join now!


depression

Sands
Here since: Nov 29, 2006
Female, 50
Psychiatric Social Worker
Psychiatric Social Work Services
grand haven, Michigan, USA
Languages: english

If you need some one to talk with-----Post a message privately with your contact info-

Please stay e-connected for tips on daily living--

Sandra has office hours at:
Grand Haven, Michigan
Muskegon, Michigan
Personal Statement: I believe in providing quality service with respect for others classes and values. It is my duty to use use knowledge to help individuals and families to grow, by empowering them using their strengths and values, to overcome obstacles, and effectively deal with lifes day to day challenges to achieve their goals.&&&&&&&&&&&&&In addition to providing professional counseling services, Sandra is also available for public speaking and conducting didactic and group therapy on the topics of, job stress, parenting, anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and grief / loss, divorce. Sandra is qualified and available to provide supervision at the bachelor and masters level for Michigan licensure in social work, and for the National Association of Social Workers, ACSW credential. Sandra also is available to provide consultation presentations for groups in the community and at Job sites. 
Sandra Alger
LMSW/ACSW 

agoraphobic
Here since: Jan 23, 2007
Female, 34
Disabled
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Languages: English

I am a smi disabled mother of two. I am single and I need dental as well as a well check up. I also am in need of housing that I can afford if you have any referrals I would be grateful I am homebound In the Phoenix pv school areas. You can contact me at bonjovi4ever73@yahoo.com

 

strawberrytea40
Here since: Nov 4, 2007
Female, 39
disabled
keymar, maryland
Languages: english

iis anyone readning my posts i haven't got an responds  am a caring,kind hearted person that just needs some help i am  disabled and low income anyone know of any help i am in need of help i can't pay 900.00 that is back owed for my car does anyone know of any programs that can help

brncathy
Here since: Dec 15, 2007
Female, 56
.mother-housewife
bronson, michigan
Languages: english
Tee-Lee
Here since: Nov 15, 2007
Female, 35
Part-time Paraprofessional
Languages: English

Read my story. I am writing this to seek advice and funds to help find a lawyer and a medical expert.

   visit caringbridge.org and ENTER: larryjr             

 The Suffering of
Larry W. Avent Jr
Medical Neglect/Late Diagnosis

Larry Avent Jr was born September 19, 2003. About 5 months before he was born the OBGYN doctor told us that something didn’t look right on the Ultrasound. He said that the fetus (baby’s’) bladder looked larger than it should be. He referred us to UNC Chapel Hill Hospital. I, Mother started to see the OBGYN Doctor there and had ultrasounds done about every two weeks. The UNC doctors told us that our baby would be born with Posterior Urethral Valves and his kidneys would be damaged. They also said that he would need to do dialysis and have a kidney transplant.
Larry Jr. stayed in the hospitals’ NICU for about a month ½, after he was born. He was fed by a tube; he had a lot of IV’s, and on the Oscillator machine. He had to have surgery (Ureterostomy) at 4 days old, due to the blocked urethras because he couldn’t release his urine. While he was in the NICU on the Oscillator machine, his head was laid on one side for a while and he had a sore on the right side of his head. We noticed it and told the Nurse and she informed the doctor. They ordered a cream to put on it. The sore went away but it left a bald spot on his head.
When Larry Jr was discharged from the hospital, he wasn’t on dialysis but the PD tube was placed, in case of an emergency to start dialysis. After two weeks of being at home, Larry had to go back because he was ill with an infection. His blood labs were off (potassium was high; kidney function was not too good). They started Peritoneal Dialysis on him around November 22, 2003. I, Mother had to learn to administer the dialysis, in order to take him home.
He went home around December 11, 2003. He did ok on the dialysis except for a couple of infections that were treated and he was released. Larry Jr was put on the Transplant list around August 2005.
The UNC Hospital called us with a cadaver kidney donor on March 27, 2006, to come and be evaluated for the kidney match. He was a match and received the kidney March 28, 2006. He did well with the transplant. He didn’t walk right after surgery. It took him a while to get his strength back in his legs but he still had a hop for a while. They had trouble getting him to take the medications. After awhile he started to take them better.
Larry Jr went home and did well except for taking his medication properly. He had labs drawn about three times a week and saw the UNC doctors regularly. He never missed an appointment. He started to become sickly around the first week of August. He complained of stomach pain, mouth pain and would vomit every so often. We took him to the emergency room, Halifax Regional for these symptoms but nothing they claimed showed. The local hospital called UNC every time we took him to the local hospital. They went by UNC Hospital orders. After a while, they noticed that his blood count/hemoglobin was LOW. They started treating him for anemia; giving him iron transfusions and also started the Pediatrician giving him an injection of Arenesp every two weeks. At his appointments, we kept telling them that something was wrong with him. We asked them were they missing something. They told us that the symptoms were normal.  At his last appointment before diagnosis, I called the Hospital begging them to check Larry Jr from head to toe. I, Mother told them that something was wrong with my baby.  He only received one due to the fact that his last appointment with his Pediatrician, he had a fever of 104. The pediatrician called the UNC doctors and informed them about the fever and the low blood count. They    had received the results back by then and told me they wanted him there at the Hospital right away. When we got there they told us that they got worried when I called and told them at his appointment that he needed to be checked from head to toe, so they gave him a special blood test. They said that he had EBV, which could turn into and act as a Lymphoma, because of taking the Anti-rejection drugs. We didn’t know it was serious but they told us that it was worrisome to them.
He had to do several test such as (bone marrow test, liver biopsy, MRI and so on). It took about two weeks to make a decision about what to give Larry Jr. He had to start Chemotherapy. They told us that he had Post transplant Lymphoproliperative Disorder caused by taking Prograf/anti-rejection drugs. He had lesions on his liver, spleen, lungs and lymph system. In this case he was Stage 3-4 and they were just diagnosing this because they were looking in the wrong direction. The Pediatric Nephrologist /kidney doctors told us that the Pediatric Onocologist would be taking care of him most of the time. He had to take Chemotherapy and they also had to reduce his medication (prograf). They told us about the Protocol, that they go by and asked us if we wanted to participate in the research. We told them if our son would have to go through any more pain, we didn’t want to, but if it was the same as going through the regular treatment, it was OK. They also told us that they didn’t think it was life threatening. They said that children usually do well with that Protocol. We accepted and signed the research paper. Dr. Blatt seemed like she cared more for the research than our sons’ treatment. We didn’t see her often. We saw Dr. Gold, Dr. Western, and the residents more. Well Larry Jr sat on the childrens' 5th floor at UNC for two weeks running fevers and vomiting. He got to the point he could hardly breathe before they moved him to the PICU.
*Larry Jrs' spleen had enlarged and was pressing on his lungs and Dr. Gold told us not to worry. They acted as if they had every thing under control. We had no idea our babyboy was dieing. He ended up losing his transplanted kidney, on Hemo dialysis (which he had never had before), Chemotherapy and much more. My son suffered before he died and we didn't have a warning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please Help! I am in desperate need of dental work.

I am 32 female, mother of 3. I suffer from depression, extreme dental problems and Mitrol Valve Prolapse. The condition of my teeth keeps me from smiling. I also do my best to avoid public events. I am so ashamed of my teeth that I don't like having pictures taken of myself. However my main concerns with my dental problems are that it is making it hard for me to find work and I have Mitrol Valve Prolapse (a heart condition). I want to work and support my Children but I have found that no one wants to hire a person with rotted teeth.

My bottom teeth don't need much work, however my top teeth are a complete loss. I only have 5 top teeth that are have not broken off. The remainder of my top teeth are nothing more than rotting numbs. This makes it very hard to eat. My jaw has started popping. It feel as if it is popping out of place. I will hold it in aliment and move it up and down till it pops again to get it to, I am guessing, reline. It does hurt a great deal until I get it to pop back in place. Then the pain slowly fades.

I have tried to find grants, loans and local help but I have had no luck with that. I even asked the state collages if they would be willing to help. I was told that due to having Mitrol Valve Prolapse I am too big of a health risk and that the condition of my teeth are more than they are willing to take on.  I have been going through this for almost 9 years. I have been looking for help for about 6 years. I have started to give up all hope that I will ever have teeth again. My depression has become increasingly worse over the years. All I want is to reclaim some of my health so that I can be a better mom for my children. I know it is a lot to ask of one person to help with this. I would be happy to have someone who understands grant applications that could guide me through the process. I can't afford a lawyer to file one for me and I really am not sure if that is even how it is done but I can't make heads or tails out of Government lingo or even find where to get a grant application for medical expenses. Please, I need help. 

inglesma
Here since: Aug 22, 2007
38
USA
PaulaJean
Here since: Mar 5, 2008
Female, 38
Fort Worth, Texas

I am a mother of a 2 year old son.  My husband and I try very hard to make a home for our family.  He lost his job the day after Christmas and has had trouble finding another one.  I have picked up some contract work, and am now working two contract jobs in addition to my full time job.  I was diagnosed 2 years go with multiple sclerosis, so the extra work is not an easy task.

Anyway, we got behind one month on our house payment and have been unable to catch up.  Our bank is demanding two months (the behind month plus this month) payment within 48 hours.  I don't have it and don't know what to do.

CrystalOne
Here since: Apr 14, 2007
Female, 21
Server
Redding, California, USA
Languages: English

Hi, my name is Crystal. I'm a 21 year old, single, working, living on my own. I've had chronic depression for about 3 1/2 years now. My parents both work at walmart so they can't help me much financially in any aspect. I tried going to college right out of high school and did okay until halfway through, the room mates I had made it difficult to get school work done, but not just that, working long hours and going to school full time, living on my own, was a killer for me. I've been extremely discouraged to go to college, though I want to get my degree. I've had a very hard time having hope for my life though I'm sure it's not that bad. I want to get on anti-depressants to balance out of my mind. It feels so out of whack. Sometimes reality doesn't feel real and I feel like I'm going crazy. I think that if I got on anti-depressants, the things I do to try and get back on my feet again will help me stay on my feet. I have the motivation at times, but I can't seem to maintain it for long. My moods are up and down constantly, bi-polar if you will. It's been a very long 3 1/2 years struggling with this thing. I want to be well again. I want to be happy again and looking forward to having a family someday with a great husband and wonderful children. I had so many good goals and dreams before this depression came on. It is like a ditch that you just constantly fall into whenever you attempt to stay out. Almost like quicksand..the harder you struggle, the quicker you fall in. I just want to be normal again. The overwhelming emotions of loneliness, hopelessness, despair and fear control most aspects of my life at this point, socially, with work, with family, with myself. If there is anything anyone can do, I would greatly appreciate it. I have come to think that I can't defeat this monster on my own. I need help and I don't really know where to turn to.

Comment:Psychological Services, Sandra Alger, LMSW, ACSW

Note: This aidpage was started as a comment on "Home page of Sandi1"

Sandra Alger, LMSW, ACSW is available to provide psychiatric counseling services in Grand Haven and Muskegon Michigan. Most insurances accepted and competative self pay rates.  Contact:  algershelp@yahoo.com. 

 Bio:
Overview: After passing the required Michigan Board of Social Workers exam, Sandra Alger was fully Licensed as a Masters Social Worker with a Clinical and Macro endorsement. Her nine years experience providing human services for Muskegon and Ottawa County area residents gave her clinical experience with groups, couples, families and individuals of all ages.
Sandra has office hours at:
Grand Haven, Michigan
Muskegon, Michigan
 You may call for a free consultation with her at either location.
Sandra received her masters degree in social work from Grand Valley State University. She also received continued education certificates in; Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Treatment of Anxiety Disorders, Working with the Self Injurer, and Effective Couples and Family Therapy.     Sandra accepts most insurances, including, Blue/ Cross Blue Shield, MESSA, Magellan, PPOM, Medicare Tri-care ect...and self pay.

Treatment Modalities: Clients benefit from Sandra's client centered approach to treatment, using the clients strengths with a focus on solutions. She uses an eclectic approach using the model which best fits the needs of the individual and family. -Treatment areas: Some of the issues Sandra provides treatment for include, Adjustment difficulties, Anxiety, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Job Stress, and Grief / Loss from death or divorce, and life adjustments. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Clients have expressed appreciation for her genuineness, her listening, ----------empowering, and advocacy skills with a focus on client strengths. Personal Statement: I believe in providing quality service with respect for others classes and values. It is my duty to use use knowledge to help individuals and families to grow, by empowering them using their strengths and values, to overcome obstacles, and effectively deal with lifes day to day challenges to achieve their goals. Some of the groups Sandra is active with are the Grand Haven area Chamber of Commerce, and the Greater Ottawa Area United Way. She is actively involved with Toast-Masters International, and WSSN, a professionals net work group. Sandra also dabbles with Legislation when issues arise to help the under-served / poor, elderly, and children. &&&&&&&In addition to providing professional counseling services, Sandra is also available for public speaking and conducting didactic and group therapy on the topics of, job stress, parenting, anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and grief / loss, divorce. Sandra is qualified and available to provide supervision at the bachelor and masters level for Michigan licensure in social work, and for the National Association of Social Workers, ACSW credential. Sandra also is available to provide consultation presentations for groups in the community and at Job sites.
Sandra Alger
LMSW/ACSW
 

 

shrewzn
Here since: Aug 24, 2007
38
ambermun21
Here since: Apr 30, 2008
Female, 25
Homemaker
Brenham, Texas
Languages: English

We are a low income family looking for assistane to help us make it! Ok let me get a little bit more into detail on how we need help. My husband is a Iraqi veteran he is 27 yrs old and is now disabled he was injured in iraq, and when he came home was discharged from the military. I am unable to work out of the home due to this and our 3 children. We live in government housing and would really like to have our own home. please any info possible would be great!

holmanbolander
Here since: Mar 21, 2008
Female, 39
Disabled
Burlington, Iowa
Languages: Just English

 Please don't email me wanting me to send money -- to get a donation. We just don't have it. This is serious -- NOT A JOKE!!!!!! Our electric and gas is going to be shut off on 4-4 ... Phone and cell and interent is already shut off. And they are going to repose my car. Hospial bill's -- hospital bills total bill is about 27,000.00,
Doctors bill's -- total bill's are about 9,000.00, other medical bills about 5,000.00. Denists bill 825.00, house 2 payments behind,
Insurance 1 month behide, and ect..... Almost 50,000.00 And that's not everything PLEASE PLEASE help us but don't -- make me look like a foul. We are in serious trouble here. Plus with my health -- this not good for it!!!! 
 

We brought our house on March 7th 2003. We both worked 2 jobs. And started an addition to the house. It’s still not totally done but we’ll get it done little at a time.
            In the time of starting this, I was injured at work and had a back surgery #1. Lower back L-4 & L-5. It happened at Wal-Mart. I was working for Wal-Mart on the weekends and tending bar during the week. So I had to quit the bar tending job, and tried just working Wal-Mart. But the pain was too bad. So though a lot of physical therapy and pain meds. I tried going back to work again at Wal-Mart. But then ended up having another back surgery #2. Went though a lot of meds, therapy and pain control. In the end I can only left 10 lbs, and can’t work anymore. And Wal-Mart will NOT pay for the 3rd back surgery. Because of all this I suffer from deep depression,  I’ve always been working since I was 12. And I’ve never been without at least 1 job. At one time I had 2 full time jobs and 3 part time jobs and cleaned house’s on the side of all of that. So now I feel like I can’t take care of my family. With my age being almost 40 and no children. We thought that if were going to have a family we better get going. Our son was born on March 25, 2006. With all of my back problems this was not an easy task! And it seems like after James was born, the depression got a lot worse. But I won’t change having that little boy in my life for nothing. He is my life.
          With the two above things all going on, I did have excellent credit score, I was up in the high 700’s. We paid for a lot of thing that should have been turned over to works comp. But I didn’t know. And with the house addition. Well we charged up the Credit Cards. We always made MORE than the minimum payment, and were always on time. Becusace we thought that I would be going back to work soon. The highest interest rate we had was 8.99%. Well after everything, when they found out that I could no longer work, the interest rates went sky high. They said because we were more of a risk now, but we were still on time and more than the monthly payment. One of the cards went clear up to  27%, and still on time and more then the payment. This really made me mad. Well on top of all of this Carl was working 2 full time jobs. And had been for 8 years. Well in Oct 2006, Welding, let him and 6 others go due to down sizing. And with the financial strain -- with me not working, and Carl down to 1 job. We had to do something. We tried consumer credit conceling, then debt settlement. Well we just couldn’t keep up. So they have taken us to court and there are judgments against us. They keep on wanting to settle for half the moneys we owe.  We will get them paid as soon as we can, for half or more of the moneys.
            So in short since we’ve bought this house ---- I’ve had 2 back surgery and facing a 3rd, can’t work anymore Carl has lost 1 job due to down sizing and is lucking if they let him get all of his hours at Wal-Mart. Put addition on the house and with all the other fix ups, and are told that the housing market is so bad that we’ll never get out of it what we’ve but into it. And finally we’ve had a little boy named James.
            NOW after the loan has been sold 5 times. And after slowing going down hill struggling to make the payments.  The icing on top of the cake, was me in and out of the hospital with ammonia, 5 times over the past 4 months.  Of course my husband Carl was right there with me. So finances where nothing. In the middle of all of this they (American severing Company) Tells us that they are going to raise our rate to 12.55% (from 9.35). Already 2 months behind at this point. We start a loan moderations. Which they what more money a month. Well after selling a few things, we made the payments -- barley! Then I ended up in the hospital again (5th time). So when I get out I call them. And then they say that the loan moderation is denied.  Every time I call them I get a different answer. One day I thought I would just see what would happen -- I called them (ASC) to ask how this loan moderation would work for us and how it works, ect. I called 5 times -- What to know how many different answers I got ???  --FIVE… That’s right 5 calls - 5 different answers. 
 And all this stress is not good on my health.      
                 What it boils down to is Please help us save our home, and get ahead of things. Then I know that we would be okay. But for them to sit there and tell us that “”it’s nothing personal it’s just business”” and that “”Well you’re the ones that signed the papers to the house”” meaning the ARM rate. Well it just makes me mad. Some one has got to step up and do something. Thank you so much for reading all of this,     Thank You it’s not just words -- it’s from the heart.
                 Thank you for all of your time.                          Lisa, Carl & James

 

 

sammiesue
Here since: Oct 24, 2007
Female, 58
disabled/bipolar
Languages: english
lifeline800273TALK
Here since: Apr 24, 2008
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in emotional crisis. If you need help, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and you will be routed to one of our 130 crisis centers nationwide.
bipolar struggling single mother without meds

i am bipolar and have not been able to afford my meds since november.  I thought i was doing okay, but bad things keep happening.  My son is in rehab for addiction, my mother has had two heart attacks, and my daughter had a spine surgeyr for scoliosis and got staph in it and they had to do a second surgery and she had a picc line in for 3 months.  Im divorced from an abuser of 23 years.  Im do medical typing and only get paid when im typing.  When i had to take care of my daughter and help my mom, i lost so much and had to take the equity out of my house.  I do not have any health insurance as I am considered an independent contractor so I have to pay for self insurance and it doesnt cover any of my bioplar medications.  Just my paxil was 228.00 for 30 pills, and I cannot afford to buy it anymore. Im so depressed that Im sleeping and giving up.  IM losing my home and its for sale right now.  I cant afford to go back to the psychiatrist because the bipolar meds they prescribe for me are brand name and my insurance will not cover.  i cannot afford a better plan.  theres so much more, i am just so desparate to get back on my depression medications without being manic so i can care for my family and just keep dinner on the table.  Im 45 and its becoming too much.  Im in menopause and cannot afford the hormone treatment which is also contributing to my depression.  I have lost about 30 pounds from anorexia from the depression.  Its 5 pm here now and i havent eaten all day.  i really just wish someone could help me.  The drug plans that offer free drugs, they take up to 90 days, and they only give small supplies, and i dont even qualify.  My income is considered to be at the federal poverty level, but yet when i turn for assistance, they say i make too much.  what can i do?  im so tired.

NARSAD
Here since: Feb 27, 2007
Female, 38
Director of Development
NARSAD
Great Neck, New York, USA

NARSAD is (The National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression) a non-profit organization that raises grant funding for researchers, clinicians and scientists dedicated to the many areas of mental health research.

In its 20 yr history, NARSAD has awarded nearly $200M to researchers nationwide at leading hospitals and clinics and 6 of the previous grant receipents have gone on to become Nobel Prize winners for their work in mental health research.

For more information, please visit our website at: www.narsad.org

 

 

cb's nana
Here since: Aug 22, 2005
Female, 50
customer service rep
Texas, USA
Languages: English
I am 48 years old and have been divorced for 8 years.  Money has always been tight and everytime I think I am about to get ahead, something sweeps my feet out from under me.  My daughter inherited her depression from me.  I have been diagnosed with Chemical Depression.  When my oldest was 17, I had a complete breakdown.  She was my strength and provided the emotional support to get me thru one of the worst times of my life.  I had been thru a divorce, lost my father to cancer, nursed my mother thru her own bout of suicidal depression, had a breast cancer scare (4 tumors diagnosed as pre-cancerous), and had a hysterectomy all within 2 years.  It proved more than I could cope with.  Despite her young age, she fought not only for my sanity, but to keep our family together, taking on a role of suragate mother to her younger siblings.  Together, we pull thru it all.  Despite having recurring bouts with gastroenteritis that put her repeatedly in the hospital and caused her to miss over 6 months of her junior and senior years, she graduated in the top 10 percent of her high school class of nearly 500 kids as a member of the National Honor Society.  I have always been extremely proud of my daughter, and it is now my turn to return the favor she gave to me.  Three months ago my daughter was abandoned by her fiance after he learned that she was expecting their baby.  She had just been laid off by her job and had no insurance.  It is my hope to provide a peaceful and safe pregnancy and delivery for her first child.  This is a child, not planned for, but much loved.  Due to many health issues, doctors had repeatedly told her from age 14 that she would probably never have a child.  This is a child we will always celebrate.  My daughter is going thru this experience without a spouse, but I will do everything within my power to make this a joyous experience for her.  I gladly take on the financial burdens of this pregnancy and will try to give her as much time as possible after the baby is born to experience motherhood to its fullest as though there was a husband and father in the picture to provide the support necessary to enable this.  This is why I am seeking help in financing this pregnancy.  My salary alone barely makes ends meet without doctor bills, hospital bills, and baby expenses.  I am looking for grants that will lighten the load.  Thank you for taking the time to read this.
mykidsok
Here since: Jul 5, 2007
Female, 33
Mother
Wisconsin, USA
Languages: English
This picture is when I was happy. When my kids hade a "healthy" mom.
Torn Anime Girl
Here since: Jul 29, 2007
Female, 17
school
Napa, California, USA
Languages: English! and um...spanish???

Yes thats right, I love anime! I am in need of help and thats why I'm here (and no i dont need help about anime :)) If you have read my posted cry for help and are interested, Please, please E-mail me at: kelseyanne5@msn.com  

THANKS!

Lisa42
Here since: Jul 30, 2007
Female, 42
Former Project Coordinator
Pennsylvania, USA

      I am soon to be 42 years old on September 24th of this year. I am divorced for 4 years now.  I have two children ages 21 and 18.  I was married for 17 years. My history is as brief as I can make it without too much unwanted detail.  I was molested at age 5 and at age 11. I was raped at 17 which was also my first experience "going all the way". The first boyfriend I had after that was physically abusive to me. I moved away after that to Pennsyvania where I live now. My first boyfriend here (also my ex-husband and father of my two children) was emotionally and mentally abusive to me.  I was financially dependent on him and being a child of divorce myself did not want my children to suffer the same as I did so I stayed in the marriage. It was not until one day when my daughter (at that time she was 16years old) told me that "she was not going to be like me when she grew up because her husband will never treat me like dad treats you!" that I realized staying in the marriage was actually hurting my children and causing them to lose respect for me rather than helping them in any way. In a nutshell my life has not been terrific.  My goals are to one day be financially, emotionally and mentally dependent upon myself.  I didn't even file for child support or monetary support for myself after the divorce because throughout our entire marriage all he ever seeemed to truly care about was money. I vowed that I would not take a dime from him and that if he loved it so much then he could just have it all. I was not in any emotional state to care about myself at the time.  All I wanted was to finally be free of his contstant control and criticism. To this day whenever he calls me my entire body just freezes and my blood pressure skyrockets so badly I don't even want to answer the phone.  So as you can imagine I have had a very rough time trying to carve out a new life for myself.  I don't dwell on the past consiously and I try to stay positive, but some where along this road I have been on I developed depression and bi-polar disorder along with several general health problems associated with stress and aging. Carving out a new life once seemed exciting but now its getting harder to see at all.  I have a new man in my life with his own set of problems but he is my best friend and we try to get each other over whatever bridges we encounter.  I hate to ask for help from anyone and just lately I had to ask my father to help me get a car so at least I could go back and forth to my doctors. In the meantime my Bob works every day of the week just to get us by.  We don't have credit card debt, we don't do drugs or drink alcohol and we don't cheat and steal.  We just have a high mortgage due to a refinancing scam that has taken us for virtually every dime we have and our lawyer can't seem to do anything about it.  We have faced getting turned down by other banks and mortgage companies because of this horrible company tacking on bogus charges upon bogus charges. We have tried Chapter 13 Banctruptcy but that does not help much because the house is all that we have and thats all we were trying to do is save our home.  We have 3 kids between us, two of which are going to college soon and my son who suffers from epilepsy and at 18 cannot even drive a car yet. Not only do I have to help myself get better but I have to find ways to get him to work and to his doctors appointments.  We have one large dog that you can't just take anywhere you go.  We can barely feed ourselves because the mortgage is so high. This is a 100 year old farmhouse and it needs so much work that I am afraid it won't even sell to get us out from under this madness.  So much for trying to start a new life, right? Anyhow, I just came upon this sight and decided to let it all out. I hope I haven't offended anyone here. Any help I can get would be greatly appreciated.  All I have to go on right now is my faith in god.  I'll keep praying, but I can't stop the crying. If you got this far in my letter then I thank you for allowing me to vent and I would be grateful even for your prayers.  Thank you, Lisa Simmons

texasjimi
Here since: Mar 8, 2008
Male, 58

 

                                    

                                         

single mom of 3 struggling to make ends meet

i am a single mom of three little handsome boys. i recently found myself in a bad sitution. my childrens father left us 3 months ago. he was the only one employed. he left us in the trailor we all once shared, but with no way too keep up with the bills. i have tried every other source for fincial help. and my time has run out with them. now i am on here looking and hoping for help. i love my little boys more than life itself! they are the reason i am still here today. i suffer from bipolar (depression). which makes it very diffucult for me too hold down a job. i am scared of being in the public eye. all i need is $4000.00 to get it all squared away. im not asking it all from one person. from who ever. if any one is able too help even in the slighest little way, please contact me. alayze_18@yahoo.com

A.Hillbilly
Here since: Feb 26, 2008
47
Farrier
Languages: English

"Our only hope ls our children and olderfolk," Good God in heaven knows, the "powers that be" sure won't change their ways and help the backbone of america. Things went bad when we started moving Grandpa & Grandma out of the home into oldfolks homes. The kids lost precious teachings that are vital to life. The olderfolk lost their reason to be. All in the name of Bigger, better,faster and longer! We have a vast number of children lost in fostercare, on the street,and in broken homes. And with the great number of functioning olderfolk lets take some of the failing family farms and put them together? This is my idea. The children have not only lost the joys and lessons that Mom and Dad have no time to teach. But what is more, They don't learn how to be Human. Look around, We are in deep we must begin with our children so that when they are "The powers that be" they wil treat their familys with a bit more Humanness. One farm is all we need to start.   A. Hillbilly

I am drowning, I need help NOW

One cannot begin to understand my levels of frustrations.

This is why
LET ME PUT IT LIKE THIS. I AM DROWNING AND GRABBING AT STRAWS. WOULDN'T ANY ONE?



I SPEND HOURS ON END BEGGING FOR HELP, AND I HAVE FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW, NO BODY CAN ASSIST ME. THIS IS A TYPICAL RESPONSE FROM GOVEERMRNT AGENCIES. A CONSTANT BATTLE.



Hello, I am unavailable to read your message at this time
I will be out of the office in training during the week of February 19-23. I will respond to your message as soon as possible. Janet Jordan
This auto reply is your notification that we have received it.
While we are unable to personally reply to every e-mail, your comments are important to us, and we do read each and every one.
----- Transcript of session follows -----
... while talking to bridgeheadpsq.senate.gov.:
>>> DATA
<<< 550 5.1.1 User unknown
550 5.1.1 ... User unknown

THIS EMAIL WAS TO THE TAX PAYER ADVOCACY OFFICE; HERE IS THERE RESPONSE: you may want to contact the Taxpayer Advocate Office with the IRS
Thank you for contacting the office of Senator Johnny Isakson. If you are
a Georgia resident, you will receive a more specific response. If you
need immediate assistance,please call the Washington office at (202)
224-3643 or the Atlanta office at (770) 661-0999
Thank you for contacting me. Representing the State of Georgia in the
United States Senate is an honor and a privilege.

I appreciate hearing from you and knowing your concerns. This automated
response serves as a receipt of your e-mail message and allows me to
respond to your direct question or comment in a more timely manner.

In reply to your email dated 02/16/2007, you indicated that you signed the release of medical records two to three weeks ago. We are not showing receipt of any medical records from the clinic at this time
NO ONE WANTS TO BE RESPONSIBLE, OR TO ADDRESS MY ISSUES. I HAVE TONS OF THESE KINDS OF RESPONSES. BUT NO ONE EVER ACTUALLY CONTACTS ME. IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR MONTHS ON END.

PLEASE, I NEED HELP NOW, DISABLED, NO INCOME, , TAXES, FORECLOSUE

    I . I have been extremely ill, and so disorganized. I do not
> want another levy on my wife's income. I have no income and we are about
> to lose our home, and everything. My illnesses are so severe that I am
> incapacitated the majority of the time.   >
> I cannot focus, I am in severe pain daily, SEVERELY DEPRESSED. SYMPTOMS:
> INABILITY TO FOCUS OR CONCENTRATE.
> INABILITY TO DEAL WITH LIFE'S CIRCUMSTANCES.
> IN AN ALMOST CONSTANT STATE OF PANIC.
> OVERWHELMED BY TRYING TO SAVE OUR HOME, PAY OUR BILLS, AND DEAL WITH
> LIFE.
> FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS, HELPLESSNESS.
> CONSUMED BY THOUGHTS OF DEATH, TRAGIC EVENTS.
> CONSUMED BY OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS AND ROUTINES.
> I HAVE SEVERE PAINS, AND IMMOBILIZED MOST OF THE TIME.
> LACK OF MOTIVATION.
> LACK OF INTEREST IN THINGS I WOULD NORMALLY ENJOY.
> PANIC, FEAR, PHOBIAS.
> SEVERE MUSCLE TIGHTNESS, PREVENTING ME FROM DOING SIMPLE TASKS.
> RECENTLY DIAGNOSED WITH PERIPHERAL NEUROPATHY AND CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.
> SEVERE PAINS IN MY NECK, UPPER BACK, ARMS, TORSO.
> UNABLE TO FOCUS OR COMPREHEND CERTAIN THINGS.
> COMPLETELY BROKE, ALMOST NO MONEY AT ALL.
> BILLS PILED UP, SO BAD, SCATTERED EVERYWHERE.
> I HAD ALL THE INFORMATION TOGETHER TO FILE THESE RETURNS, BUT WHEN I
> DECIDED TO TRY TO TACKLE THE RETURNS, I COULD NOT FIND MY WIFE'S W-2'S.
> TROUBLE SPEAKING WITH PEOPLE ON THE PHONE.
> TROUBLE AND PHOBIAS OF BEING IN PUBLIC PLACES.
> I MISS NUMEROUS DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS BECAUSE I AM WITH TOO SICK, IN TOO
> MUCH PAIN, AND/OR CANNOT AFFORD THE CO-PAY.
> CANNOT AFFORD MY MEDICATIONS.
> NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE, NO MONEY TO BUY FOOD.
> I AM IN A VERY SERIOUS AND URGENT SITUATION AND HAVE BEEN BEGGING FOR HELP
> FROM MANY ORGANIZATIONS, ETC FOR MONTHS ON END, ALL TO NO AVAIL.
>
>
>>A person with severe mental impairments and disabilites should have
> a way to file his or her taxes without having to pay out of his or her
> pocket, and someone to assist, advise, and protect the taxpayer.
>
> Also, the penatiles and interest have accumilated, while I had no way of
> paying the principal taxes because of the severity of my disabilties. I
> have no income.

Physically Challenged Adults Support

I'm tired of this miserable life.   I'm tired of losing every day.  I'm tired of worrying, wondering, feeling hopeless, helpless, and with no way out.  Why is it that a man who has worked all his life, continues with such miserable strife, after all he has done to help this degrading society.  This society does nothing to help him.

Losing it all, can't work, can't take care of myself.  No food in the house, can't afford to see the doctor.  Can't afford my medications, can't afford anything.  But I gave, gave and am still giving.  But when I am in need, there is no one to turn to, no one who gives a damn.

Not my community, not my governor, not all the organizations, not the president.  Not  any social services, not a soul.

I bow my head, I can onpy face my fears with terrified dread.  Someone help me please.  This is my solemn prayer.  I am down and out.  I am too tired to fight.  I cannot cope with the pains, the hunger, the madness.

But what do I matter?  I'm just a nobody; crippled and left to die.  I am wasting my energy to hang my head and cry.  I am wasting my breath to keep asking for help.  It is all so senseless, not worth it.  What do I do now.

For real,who really gives a damn enough to show any concern, to do any thing?  Who really cares?  For real?

DON'T BOTHER

I love you all, you all love me.  None the less, I'm just not worth the effort.  Don't bother reading this, don't bother extending a word of encouragement, don't bother responding or rating this.  It doesn't matter/  What the hell does it all mean anyway?

Just drowning in my sorrows, pains dictate my life.  You can't help me, probably don't care.  SO go somewhere else to some one who has a chance.

My chances are gone, little left to discuss.  Just don't bother, I have had enough

I have my ups and downs.  I am criticized by many, embraced by others.

 

All of my poetry is not negative.  I flow with my emotions.  some good things may be coming my way soon.

 

I have published about 50 poems in the past week.  Here's one you mght can relate to.

 

To Whom it May Concern,

 

This is my authentic self, accept this or NOT!

 

One of my many poems:  This is who I am:

 

My Sweet Lord Part II Ode to George


The Fab four, once commanded our thoughts; our dreams, with the realization that there was talent to be heard, debates to be made, records to be broken, people to hate, love, live.  Characterized by a unique style, appealing to the young, offensive to the old, neutral to others.

Expressions on disc of black, and over frequencies with no lack of audiences, fans, and haters.  An uprising of a new culture, feeling good, happy.  Defied by a stubborn group of society, criticizing, wary, turning sons against fathers, mothers against daughters.  Now here are we, most of us grew up fine.

John, George, Ringo and Paul.  Names of controversy, but people with a mission; innocent in their intentions, trying to achieve fame; boy did they.  

Remarks were made, people were enraged, records burned, even the FBI was intimidated.  Under their watchful eye, a group in defiance of the culture as set by the previous generation; treating them like criminals, harassing, implications of evil and rebellion.  Oh, but just innocent and living life.  Then, they went their separate ways.  What a sad day in America.

Many things they achieved, their own souls they searched, just like the rest of us, for answers, for spiritual connections, for acceptance, for a place in this life.  In their shoes, we know not how they felt, what they sacrificed to bring us the sounds of music unheard, unique, captivating, and undeniably masters of the industry.  Through it all, none can deny, they changed the world.

Mistakes, yes, just as us all.  Let him that is without sin cast the first stone.  Judge not lest ye be judged.  Seeking comfort of the soul, divine guidance, again criticized by society, embracing a culture and religion we don't understand.

Hare Krishna was the path they chose.  Right or wrong?  Who are we do judge?  Who's to say who is right and who is wrong?  In my teens, over the loud speaker at a recreational facility I head the words of George in a song, not knowing who this artist was.  My Sweet Lord stuck in my head, a pleasant addiction to the expressions of the heart and soul of a man who sought religion in his own way.

Little did I understand, little did I know, be accepted and respected George for the message he sang out with all his heart and soul.  Believing, caring, expression of the level of genius.  A master piece, inspirational to me, comforting to my soul.

For many years the song rang out in my head, simple, yet compelling, convictions of connection to my very soul.  My sweet Lord, I really want to see you, really want to be with you, really wanna see you Lord, but it takes so long my Lord. My Sweet Lord.  I really wanna know you, really wanna go with you, really wanna show you Lord, but it want take long my Lord....

What a powerful message demanding the attention of millions,  emitting a vibration of spiritual proportions; a radiation of phenomenal effects.  Nothing less than a divine force of exaltation of the highest power of the universe.  All from a man, that along with his peers, was drug through the mud, debased, demoralized.  But standing fast, holding strong to the convictions of his spiritual experiences and conviction.

George, a man of life, a man of contributions to our society, a man of immense talent a exalted by millions, yet humble and compelled to send us a message; a message of his deepest feelings about his relationship with his Sweet Lord.

We still love you George.  You song is in my heart every day.

 

A STONE'S THROW FROM MISERY

I look outside and what do I see? The bare limbs of the Oaks and Sweet gums; the apple trees, and the peach trees. They all appear to be dead. But the evergreens now hove their moment to stand out, be noticed, and fill the voids of a wintry atmospheres; cold, dark and dreary.

The leaves have died, all over the ground. A process of nature I do not understand. Yes I know they provide top soil and such, but they were so beautiful when they were attached.

As doth my soul, it dies, and again is reborn. Obvious for all to witness. Appearing that I have died, my limbs of hope are bare, my branches of production have lost their grip. On the leaves of my soul, my appearance has been altered. But not by season, only when they falter.

I cannot hold on to the leaves of my being, that make up the whole me, the real me, the alive me. They fall as they may, and occasionally return. They shine only for a short time, then they fall to my feet. More often than not doest my soul endure this despair. And it's only on occasion that my leaves do my branches bear.

I watch the ever greens, productive days on end. But the pains I endure determine when mine will end. My roots are rotten, my core eroding. Each year I grow weaker, soon my life will be broken.

I began to lose control many years ago. Can't hold onto to the leaves, during Spring or the bitter snow. Yes I blame the world for my bitterness and hurt; for they understand not now badly I hurt.

Pains jabbing in my neck, like a serrated knife; my body feels beaten daily, like a stick of device. If one or the other, I probably could stand. But the mind and the body attacks this dreadful man.

Sinking slowly in the agony, no place to run and hide , JUST A STONE'S THROW FROM MISERY IS THE PLACE WHERE I RESIDE. Across the river of doubt, you can find me there, But you must cross the forbidden mountains, to find my home of deep despair.

It's useless to tell you; for help you cannot give . I will drown in my pity, with no rescue team to find me, to allow me to live. A shell is my hide out, a song is my prayer, O Lord don't let me suffer, you are the only one who cares.

Take me away to that land of promised hope. just please don't leave me hanging here at the end of this rope. Save me or let me fall, the pain is just too much. Give me hope or give me death, I just need you gentle touch.

If only you would let me, I would rise above this cliff, and walk on solid ground once more, all my burdens you would lift. A sign, a glimmer of hope, is all I need to survive. But I've been waiting for years on end for my soul to be revived.

IF YOU READ THIS MY FRIEND, I NEED A HELPING HAND. LORD, LET SOMEONE HEAR ME, AND BY MY SIDE TO STAND. FOR A REASON, A PURPOSE, THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON. YES I HAVE TRULY DETERMINED THAT I AM ON MY OWN


So much to say, I cannot begin to explain my misery and desperation.






35yr old male had 2 strokes & now bi polar
I'm a 35 year old male in the kansas city,ks area. in 2005 I suffered my sencond stroke which now my left side of my body a great weakness. I'm not use to being down like this, I had a steady day job for ten years and useally had a 2 job at nights. I was always the first one when anyone in my family,or friends needed help with anything I was there. I never had to worry about money because 2 jobs I had money. After the stroke everything went down hill, my wife was gone, the money was never around,  Iwas left lost not being able to work. This caused me to try taking my own life twice in the summer of 2006 which I was placed in a state hospital. there I was diagnosed Bi Polar. I haven't recived my disablity yet, even though after I released from the hospital after my stroke I did get a disiablity check for three months right away( the doctors started my disablity paper work before release) the goverment took the money away. Now all I recive is $130 cash asst. & 155 food stamps a month from srs,& that is running out.I have been deniaed ssi 3 times now . I'm at the court hearing stage & I been waiting already 10 months for that to happen Legal aid jump on my case right away. I did get public housing just lately. I feel hopeless, confused. I use to work for my uncle when I was 16 at his homeless/abused women shelter in missouri. It puts me in a deep state of depression being this helpless, I remeber when I had cell phones, top of the line computers,food, places to go and my own way to get there. I just dont know how long I can keep up with this endless road any longer.   DONNI MOTES II     KANSAS CITY,KS
need remolding in home and help with debt

 I have recently gone through back surgery and have not been able to work due to that. My husband has just recently been layed off from his job and has also broken his ankle . Our house is desperate need of remodeling  and our debt is building up right as we speak. Have no income coming in to by groceries or nessities.

Bobrobert
Here since: Jul 31, 2007
Male
Illinois, USA
Languages: english

Hello my name is Bob. For some reason I was taged with Bobrobert, its ok. Here is my problem. Please advice would truly be appreciated. At 54 I have been dealing with Heart Disease for the last 9 yrs. I have 3 stents, and am 40-50% blocked in all arteies. My doctor has said that because Ive been on my medication for so long that in some people fatigue sets in. Boy was he rite. So now I suffer from Chronic Fatigue along with what the dr thinks is depression. I am so numb and paralyzed with fear and stress that just getting out of bed is a challenge. I hate myself for getting into this jam. In Jan 07 I lost my construction job of 12 yrs ( house painter), I know it was no great skilled job but it paid the bills. Ive tried getting work but think painting is more of a younger person job, I don't know. I have 2 old pets I dearly love. Daisy and Rose. Daisy my old dog and Rose the cat. They truly keep me entertained. Loosing my job and not find work and not having the strength to look has really but me in dire straits as they say.  Im afraid Im going to be kick out of my 2 rm. apt. ( 2 mos.behind in rent) State agencies said theres a 2yr waiting list for housing. Plus only a 1 Pet rule. I could never get rid of my pets. Their all I have. Im lost. I have run out of money, meds, food, gas, you name it and Ive pretty much dont have it. Please I tried my local community funds, state and gov. agenceys, all have waiting list age requirerments or pet rulings. Im afraid my time is running out.My e-mail address is spicerbrown@gmail.com

Does Anyone Out There Really Care????

 Hello,  My name is Jeanie.  I am  57 years old, and at the very end of my emotional rope! I am out of money out of time, and out of options. I do not know where to turn!  God help me Please!!  I have been separated from my husband for over a year.  Since then I have held several jobs all of which were complete dead ends. My husband is a retired factory worker living on a very fixed income, and he is unable to support me financially outside of our marriage.
 When he retired from his job we moved South, and I gave up a full time job. I had to move from there back to my home state where I am originally from, because I could not afford to live in a separate residence in the South. Nor could either one of us afford to get a divorce, because we could not afford to pay lawyers.  I gave up my home, and  all rights to it because my husband had promised me that he would “help me out”,  NOT!!  I was naïve in assuming that he would. He had promised me that he would pay off my credit cards and give me a substantial part of what our home was worth. I was very stupid not to have obtained this in writing.  Needless to say he didn’t do what he promised. I moved back to my home state using credit I did not really have to use. 
 Once I had gotten settled I did obtain a good job, but I was seriously under qualified for it.  I accepted the job because I desperately needed an income at the time.  I lasted at that job for approx.. 5 months, and it was very it was a very stressful period trying to fit into a job that I did not have the experience for.  My employer finally let me go, with assurances that I would be able to get unemployment.  NOT!!  I did not qualify for unemployment because I did not make enough within a certain period, and because I had not worked long enough. Since then I have been working the odd jobs for a temp agency, but those odd jobs were few. 
 I come from an era where the wife stayed at home while the husband went out and earned a paycheck.  I would have worked outside our home, but my husband preferred me at home. I was a housewife and mother for many years and I do not regret those years.  My children are now grown and doing well in their own lives.  But because I stayed home and took care of my home and raised my children, I have not the “marketable” skills that would make it possible for me to obtain a good job and earn a comfortable living.  I also have several age related ailments, while not disabling, make it very difficult for me to work a full-time job outside my home.  I would love to get training in a marketable skill and develop a business, and work from my home. I could possibly obtain a grant, (impossible to get unless you hire someone),  or educational loan for training,….(govt. grants)……“this is also a huge money making machine for internet scammers!!!” 
 I am unable to hold down a full-time job and go to school at the same time. It is more than I can handle at my age, considering my current health situation.  I have a disease called, “cervical spondylosis”.  It is very painful and debilitating.  I also have bone spurs in the heels and pads of my feet, osteoarthritis, and a small tumor at the base of my brain. Thankfully this tumor is, as far as I know, benign.  I have been told by my doctor that I need to have yet another MRI, of which I have had many!  I can not afford it!   I tried to get help from a community organization called, “Volunteers In Medicine”, but …..again I do not qualify because I have to be completely uninsured. This is another reason I have not yet tried to obtain a divorce,  as long as I remain married, I am still under his insurance. 
 I am not a lazy person, I exercise and try to keep myself in shape, but I have been so severely depressed that some days I can not even function. I have scoured the internet in hopes of finding some kind of work at home, for an online job.  God help me!  Several months ago….as now,  I was so desperate for a way to make some money that I fell for an internet scam.  It was one of those “Nigerian” scams.  I was very stupid and very naïve, and very desperate.  Desperate people will do stupid stuff, as I well know.  As a result of that scam my bank account was wiped out, along with some of the banks money.  I tried everything to get help.  I called all the Federal offices I could think of.  Secret Service, CIA, FBI, etc., you name it and I called it.  No one would help me.  I understand how being involved might have made me look less than innocent, but I truly did not realize until it was too late.  I was an unknowing participant.  I have always been a very trusting individual and willing to believe that there are honest people in this world.  But, my trust has been betrayed time and again. Just a couple of weeks ago now I was talked into investing money I don’t even have on an internet business that I was promised would earn me quick money. I had one credit card with some credit left on it, now I have none!  Scammed again!!! I am sick to death of all the lies, and untruths that are flooding the internet!!  These people were very smooth and they know just what to say to have you believing them!!  How do these people sleep at night knowing what they do to people!!! I am not a dummy, just way too trusting.
 My trust in our Government to protect its American Citizens against fraud and other unscrupulous acts has been broken.  Our government officials and the politicians who are running this United States Government are all out for themselves, first and foremost.  They sit around giving themselves raises probably with our tax dollars, while people like me are lost in the shuffle of government bureaucracy. 
 Now I find myself in the position of having to beg someone to save me from living in the streets.  I have been living off credit for some months just to survive. Now my credit is shot and I can not obtain a loan, needless to say.  I do at least have a good vehicle, about the only thing I got from my marriage worth anything,  but even it is going to need maintenance soon.  I am praying for a miracle because I am all out of time and money.  I am tired and my spirit is broken, and I am very scared.  I have registered with 2 websites where folks are allowed to “beg for money”.  On one of them I have yet to receive any help, and the other site, I paid for the opportunity to tell my story, they took my money and never did publish the story!! I do at least have this computer and I have been working as a, “chat host”,  for a couple of internet sites. Basically chat hosting means stripping for money. It is NOT what I want to do, but was forced to do to survive!  I do not want to live this way!!! 
 Someone please help me to make my life worth living.  I just want a chance to be someone before its too late for me!!  I have rent due in 2 days, and I do not have the money to pay for it.  God help me!!  Please!!!  If anyone can find it in their heart to help me I know that it could change my life for the better!  Is there anyone out there who really cares????  If there is, please renew my faith, and I will get down on my knee’s and pray to God to bless you, and Thank You All!!!!!

Sincerely,
Jeanie

lfphotoham
Here since: Jan 29, 2008
Male, 40
Disabled
Remlap, AL
Languages: English

A little background information. I am 40, almost 41 years old, married with two beautiful daughters ages 8 and 5 and disabled since April 2001. I receive Social Security Disability but we all know that it does not come close to a regular pay check. Before I got sick, my wife and I were both working and our combined income was close to $85K per year. I began getting sick in 1999 with acid reflux or GERD. I went through every drug on the market and using each above the recommended maximum dosage with little or no relief. When it began eating away at the lining of my esophagus to the point I was developing holes in the lower portion near the point where it connects to the stomach and spilling into my lungs so badly that they thought I had developed asthma, their only other option for me was a surgical procedure called fundoplication. This procedure takes the upper portion of the stomach and and wrap it around the esophagus to tighten the valve to prevent the acid from coming back up and to cover the holes. It was supposed to be a laproscopic procedure where I had it done on one day, spend the night in the hospital and go home the next morning. My maximum time off work was to be two weeks. I actually left the hospital on the day I was supposed to return to work. When I kind of came to on the first day after having the laproscopic procedure go so badly that I had to be opened up the full length of my abdomin so that they could try to fix what they did that almost killed me plus I was in intensive care. The next day, they did a test where I drank some awful tasting mess so they could check for any leaks in my stomach or anything. Guess what, they stated that they found leaks and back into the operating room I went where they took everything they did the day before apart and did it all again. This time when I woke up, again in intensive care, I was on a ventolator for a week. They took the thin lining that is between your organs and your skin to keep then from growing to each other to wrap my stomach and seal off the 3 or 4 places that it tore open during the laproscopic surgery. During the first, laproscopic, surgery, in addition to my stomach tearing open in 3 places, my liver was cut/damaged to the point that the gave me at least 4 units of blood. I haven't been able to work since then. I have constant diarrhea, abdominal pain which is increased when I eat anything at all, on a scale of 1 to 10, I stay around 8 or 9 all the time. I also have a partial small bowel obstruction that will eventually have to be surgically fixed. The obstruction(s) are caused from the extreme amount of scar tissue that I have in my abdomin which is why they don't want to operate again until they absolutely have to. I have been admitted to the hospital 12 times in just the past 3 years and have already had to have surgery to correct a blockage in my colon. My small intestines, colon and I don't know what else is attached to my skin where the lining was removed. I cannot lift anything more than 5 to 7 pounds, pull, strain, climb, crawl  nor stand, sit or lye down for more than about an hour and a half at a time because of the pain. I also have areas that are close to herniating which will also cause another surgical procedure. When they admit me for a blockage, I spend a week there with a tube down my nose (NG Tube), in my stomach connected to a suction pump to pull all of that stuff back out and clear the blockage, for then anyway. One, I cannot even stand to think about any other surgery and two, the doctors don't want to do it either.  In addition to all of that, and I left some things out, I have degenerative disk disease in my back, my spine has lost it's curve at the end where the tail bone is. Also, I have to sleep with a CPAP machine because of sleep apneia and have to take medicine during the day because I also have narcolepsy. Dealing with all of this has caused depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder from the surgery. I still and always will deal with these health issues and mental stress from now on. Because of all of my problems, it's obvious that my wife had to leave her job to care for my and our children so we have been trying to make it on Social Security Disability which is getting harder and harder every day. We have already gone through our savings and 401(k)'s to survive and keep our home and a vehicle. Our credit is shot because we have had the 2 cars that we had when this all happened repossessed. Also, all of the other credit we had then, fell behind and pretty much totally destroyed our credit. We are behind one house payment and the mortgage company is a pain to deal with and absolutely refuse to offer any assistance at all. I am still trying to pay some on my hospital co-payments that are now pushing a total of close to $10K and I never know from day to day when I may have to go back. Plus, like everyone else, I have the normal power, phone, cable, water, trash pickup, car payment, car insurance, homeowners insurance, food and school things for our girls. We also heat and cook using propane gas. We have been without propane for 95% of the winter and we are out now which means we heat with small electric heaters and cook on a hot plate, microwave or small toaster oven. Right this moment, we have a total of maybe $5 to last two more weeks and it's about to drive us crazy. We can't cook, heat nor watch TV because the cable has been turned off until I can get money to pay them in two weeks. I am the type of person who hates to have to ask others for help. I would rather help others than to ask for help but I don't have much of a choice right now. Our families, our church and our friends have been great during all of this but they all have their own bills and families to take care of also. Any help would greatly be appreciated! May God bless you!

1 of 9   Next ->   last page