on this saturday (october 22) it will mark the three years since my dad has died.

he died due to complications with surgery that he had done to make his care easier (he had muscular dystrufy)

i am finding it very hard to cope with this year. and i do not know who to go to or how to go to them. i just feel very lost and very alone, even though i have great friends who have dealt with loss. it still feels like no one really wants to listen, as i tend to ramble on sometimes when i talk about my dad.

a friend -who recently lost his twin sister- told me i really should go to counseling -since he is and i guess it helps.
the problem is that i cant afford counseling, since my dad died my mom and i are having great financial difficulties -to the point that we are having problems paying our bills this month. and my town is small so there arent any local support groups or anything.

i am extremely stressed out because i do not do well in school at this time of year. i have no motivation around the time of my dad's death. but i am taking a class this semester due to the fact that my mother wishes me to. i recently quit my second job due to the fact that it was cutting into my class time. so now i feel horrible because i cant help my mom with any of our bills.

i am so stressed out!!! i am way behind in my classes and starting to feel like a complete failure.. i really need something that will help me take hold of my situation before my life falls apart!