Greetings!

It may take a while to put this to writing, I don't have much time to spend on the computer...just a few fleeting moments here and there. I'll do my best to keep updating. Do keep in mind I am not articulate in any way. My life is spent doing, creating, helping, providing hands on. I listen more than speak. I go to bed exhausted.

I'm not seeking money. It would certainly help...it is a great tool but there are greater needs.

Small amounts of money certainly help meet immediate basic needs for food, shelter, medicine, etc. but again, although it helps, it is a temporary solution.

Larger amounts help create sustainability but best controlled by those who have skills in this area...then distribute the smaller amounts to specific projects. This too, although helpful, is not our immediate need.

Simple used items of all sorts are our key to long term sustainability...

...but what these young people need most is for me to do a better job...I can't do that (gee that hurts to admit)...I need YOU! You know, if you are feeling a tug at your heart...and YOU personally don't respond...these kids won't stand a chance because I have put my heart, my soul, my all into this...but I don't have all that it takes. YOU are the other piece of this puzzle!

I am very good at what I do. I've been doing this for over 20 years but the last few years I've been doing this exclusively, and to such an extent I've compromised my own basic needs by choice (and I'm happy to do so). I assist a specific group who otherwise...gosh...I don't even want to go there right now (sad). The people I assist/serve find me...I don't talk about what I do...don't have time or opportunity to do so. Funny, I'm fulfilling a specific promise I made when I was young (even in detail), yet I had forgotten making the promise until years after I was already doing it.

I'm seeking a person or persons. I need someone who is very good at what they do and who posses those skills I lack. Because my days are spent doing hands on work in a somewhat isolated area and because I do this work with virtually no tools, I rarely have opportunity to be in a situation where I might meet this person I am supposed to meet. My hope is the internet may serve as a bridge...a bridge to help us connect. I suspect you may be seeking me as well. It's simply a matter of connecting with each other. By the way, I'm lousy on the phone...I can make needed calls to help others but when it comes to articulating what I do, the project's needs, I just feel so overwhelmed I don't know where to start. Scattered energy is not constructive.

I need your skills! You'll know who you are. You are very good at what you do! I suspect you have a passion or are seeking passion/meaning, or an opportunity to make a real difference. We both must agree to allow each other to do our jobs to the best of our ability...Trust. You'll have to trust that after doing this for twenty plus years and seeing lives change, I may have a clue when it comes to what I am doing. I will trust that you, having done your work for however many years, are also very good at what you do. You don't have to change your lifestyle or compromise your own needs to assist me. I need what is in your brain and a bit of heart helps. I'll try to provide more of a description later. If you want references I can provide plenty.

For the past several years I've searched for another project/organization that does something similar in hopes I could glean info that I could put to use. I value learning from others. After diligently searching, I can't find any. The past two years I've put a great deal of thought and research into how best to create a long term sustainable project and I think I've come up with something(with the help of the young people). Yet again, I need Your experience/knowledge.  I much prefer 1 on 1 helping others.  I don't like the idea of starting an org but I think I've found a way to balance this...it took a great deal of thought, energy, time and hands on learning.

The only time I have to be online is when I take a break for breakfast or lunch or during extreme weather. The rest of my hours are spent creating resources, finding resources, helping rural low income/no income college bound youth and caring for those I've taken in...and NO I do not receive any type of compensation from any agency, org, or person. My hubby and I do this on a below poverty level income which must also provide for our own family. With this small income, I manage to feed (and provide basic needs/resources/shelter/etc) for 20 to 50 young people. I often feed 20 - 50 young people. For us, it is a matter of priorities...Do I need to shave my legs (1.00 for a razor) or buy a 2-lb box of elbow noodles or rice for .99? Do I buy the box of noodles or do I purchase a packet of vegetable seeds. One meets the immediate need the other is a more sustainable solution. I make this type of decision all day every day..."do I really need this". It's not easy because sometimes I must weigh feeding the hungry vs medicine or mortgage payment. Guess which always wins! The few times I've managed to save a small (very small) chunk of money the immediate needs win over the sustainable needs...I just cannot do both by myself.

...but I believe! I watch these kids change their stars! Interestingly, they usually won't remember me feeding them my last piece of bread or my hubby walking 16 miles round trip to work every day for three years (so we could feed them), what they remember is that someone believed in them. This is what they thank us for. It's such a simple yet profoundly life changing thing to give and means more to them than food or shelter. Personally I'd rather them not remember the doing without part...I want them to focus on the positive...the going forward part. When they are older they'll have plenty of opportunity to reflect on the doing without.

"The glory of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him..."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Obviously, since we've been doing the job of a formal organization, that might be a good place to begin. Unfortunately we have two small issues standing in our way. Additionally, we would be just as happy to have a small outside board either shelter us or form to assist us. I understand the workings of boards and non profits...problem is there are so many needs I simply don't have the time to stop and do both. I must keep focusing on immediate basic survival needs while chipping away at the sustainable needs and helping to create long term sustainable change...difficult to explain in just a few words. Sigh...

This is a great opportunity for folks who wish to make a hands on real difference and touch a young person's life...whether it is sending a homemade birthday card, a box of mac n cheese, a few veggie seeds, a fruit tree, old magazines books (science, current events, etc), a toothbrush, or any other of a zillion needs. Overhead just doesn't exist...we can't afford to have overhead so we don't.

I really need to explain more about this area and the obstacles. Time Consuming to do so...gee. I've got to go again but hopefully will have time later this evening.

By the way, thanks for listening!

SIGH...

I'm so not good at this.

I'm feeling torn...I need to be doing research, writing to folks, locating resources, etc. I have hundreds of hours of this type of work to do. Doesn't help that I've misplaced my reading glasses (over the counter type).  I also need to be putting food in the ground (seed) and building fences (not sure with what but I need to at least try)! This requires sunrise to sunset work out of doors. AGHHHH...  Also need to harvest and dry herbs.

These are a few morels we collected last year.  The green background is simply a bench we put the plate on. 

I'm trying to make room for the clothing closet which is currently in the cubby hole the kids built for us to sleep in (which we also share with my bio-son for the summer) and all the students have arrived and cooking from scratch can take hours...SIGH.  I need to interject here...I am thinking I should pack up all clothing of Rick's and mine, leaving out only 2 pairs of pants and 2 shorts each plus 4 tee shirts.  This will free up space.  The pants I wear are coated in dirt by the end of the day...I used to think I had to put on a fresh pair each day but I think I'll just wear them dirty. 

The students also need access to the books and study aids but I have them all boxed up because we need  standing/sitting room...imagine 50 or more young people in a 12" x 14' area.  Ha HA!  We do it!  Help me out here...put some positive thoughts and prayers into a 24' x 32'  4"-6" slab of concrete (or its wood equivalent).  This will ease a great deal of pressure by providing two extra bedrooms (shared) and room for books, study area, games, computer center (for some the only access they have), clothes closet, socialization/recreation, workshops, and so much more.

The kids immediately dived into projects (Yippee!).  Oh and finally, "D-on" decided to go to college.  One problem, 35.00 application fee.  Rick will call and beg a waiver for him but we can't guarantee it.  It's worked for some of the students but not for others....Ask me why he can't pay this...I challenge you but be prepared to unleash my passion!  We are talking rural America.  Gas prices...remote rural...farms shutting down...no jobs, no education, no resources...and more...just ask me but be prepared to unleash a Tiger. 
If there is a way...I find it, make it, do it, beg it, pray it, meditate it, build it...whatever it takes.

Here is a photo taken in last year's garden.  I'm suffing my face with cherry tomatoes.  Excuse the mess that I am but I am not a neat or tidy gardener.  Garden is also chemical free...no pesticides no store bought fertilizers, just hard work. 

I need food...not me personally...I need food to feed the kids...just to get by until I can expand the garden and grow a sufficient amount.   Agghh...I feel so guilty when they are hungry.  It is one of my commitments based on years of experiences and sad stories of hungry kids.  .Not one of these kids can afford to lose weight.  They look terrible...well from a "mother's" perspective...they are muscular but not an ounce of fat anywhere.  I guess this is healthy but I also know a few of them have been on a starvation diet for several months (not by choice).  I know what they've been eating.  I could also use more recipes.  I cannot buy special ingredients or seasonings so recipes should be very basic.  We eat very little if any meat.  I do grow herbs.  Any healthy recipes would help. The recipes need to fit within a budget of  50.00 to 100.00 per week  (my money) in which to provide breakfast, lunch, dinner and any snack material for my own family and all the young people.  Recipes for popsicles would also be awesome (not too much sugar since there is no dental care out here).  

I wanted to put a photo of dinner time around here but my protective instinct kicked in...instead here is a general photo.  This is the wall in the front room.  It was a huge white wall.  The kids asked if they could paint it so I showed them so old paint, asked them to make sure it was family friendly, and told them "go for it".  This was the result.  Since that time they've just about painted the entire house.  They mix their own colors and have even experimented with clay, sand, and other outdoor materials.  Oh, Papa is pure Italian.

Papa and I were cooking the other day.  I happened to glance at the calendar and noticed it was the 17th.  I turned to him and said, "Happy Anniversary a day late.  I love you".  He was stunned.  It's our 21st.

I need to get busy.  I hope all have a wonderful day today filled with goodness and joy.

In Kindness Always-

-K

...was getting ready to post this and son yelled out he has a 4.0! Yippee!  He is a university student...putting himself through school...no loans and no help from us.