Here since: Feb 3, 2007
Female, 45
Jewelry Artist
Greensboro, NC, USA
Languages: English
Hello! I had a wonderful life until I contracted Lupus. I am a beautiful, warm. kind-hearted woman seeking shelter from the storms of life. I try to live each day to the fullest, but there are days when I am so very sick I feel as if I want to die. It takes me awhile to wake up. I pray when I am fully awake and mostly for others. I am funny and have a sense of humor. When I am sick, I fake that I feel good. Deep inside, I just want to drop over dead. I have many pets. They sense when I am sick and stay close at my side. It has become impossible for me to work in a public setting. Everytime I do, I become sick and must sleep alot. I used to be so healthy and vibrant. It has been said, "When you have your health, you have everything." I can really relate to that now. I have two beautiful teen-aged daughters whom I love dearly. They live with their dad. I am too sick to care for them. Caring for myself is a full-time job. I love life but don't love the physical state that I am in. The bills are piling high and that stresses me. I have to have minimal stress or my bed is where I stay. I am so destitute, that I cannot afford medical care. So I eat fairly healthy and rest as often as possible. Some days, the joint pain is excrutiating. Stretching does help, but the pain is always there. I live in a country environment. I used to love the sun, but if I stay out in it too long, I become sick. Then I have to sleep for half of the day. I was so active and healthy. When I am feeling good, I have a tendency to over-exert myself. I love music, reading, my pets, and the people I know and meet. This is who I am abd what I am about! Thank you for reading about me!! May God bless you!!!
Here since: Sep 14, 2007
Female, 59
Disabled
USA
Languages: English
IS MY LIFE WORTH A DOLLAR????
My story is probably a bore to most of you. I married at 14 years old, had two children and have been married for 44 years to the same man. He is a good man that has been good to me and the children. My children married and have children so I am a grandmother and now a great-great grandmother. I am so proud of my family. My husband and I had 50.00 when we got married and we went to K-mart and bought two towels, two washcloths and toothpaste. We lived on crackers and peanut butter for two weeks until payday! We both came from large families who worked hard and paid our bills. We didn’t have much but we were happy. We both worked two jobs and went to school at night to get an education.
Over the years many things have happened in my life. I had to leave my job because of illness, Lupus, many things started happening to me health wise. Lupus affects everything. I now have so many different illness and medicines to take it is depressing. I think losing my hair on top of it all is the worst because being a woman everyone stares. It will not grow back. It isn’t because of the chemo but because of the Lupus. But I have kept on. Maybe one day I will get some help with that too.
We have never been rich or really even well off but we were comfortable. Then my daughter went through a terrible divorce. He didn’t care if the kids had food or anything. We tried to help our daughter keep her house and keep the kids in clothes and etc. This put a strain on us, but that is how we were raised to help each other.
When my husband retired after 40 years on the job he didn’t have a 401k or anything like that but we thought we could make it. He started working part time as soon as he retired because they would not insure me anymore. (This we didn’t know) I felt bad about that but we did what we had to.
After going through so much financially a “friend” told us he could double or even triple what savings we had. I was so excited and I trusted him. Well the “friend” is gone and so is the money. Like it never existed. We finally found her but the money was gone. My illness has also drained us, but this was devastating. I trusted this person and now we are so in debt we could lose our home. I am responsible for this because I did it. I can’t look my husband in the eye anymore. I can’t pay my bills now and will lose my home if something doesn’t happen soon. I kept praying something would come up and a heavenly angel would help us. Didn’t happen. But I still believe in Angels. Maybe they are internet Angels!!!!
I have been so depressed I get closer and closer to just ending it all. I have given myself so much time to either get some help or do what I have to do. I want to live a long life with my family but I am so ashamed of what I have done. My husband doesn’t deserve this nor my family. Then….. I accidently came across this site. Could??? Would??? Someone help me??? Please………… if you could send something, anything I would appreciate it. If I come out of this I will do whatever it takes to always help someone else in this situation. I have always helped anyone never dreaming someone could be this desperate. Life is not worth living right now. My nerves are terrible making the disease get worse
I came across this website by accident. Maybe it is a God sent. I don't know. Maybe someone out there cares.
Is my life worth a dollar to anyone? I know there are thousands of people out there and I thank you for listening. Please keep me in your thoughts. I am desperate. God Bless. Paypal or mail. Anything appreciated.
Here since: Mar 5, 2008
Female, 38
Fort Worth, Texas
I am a mother of a 2 year old son. My husband and I try very hard to make a home for our family. He lost his job the day after Christmas and has had trouble finding another one. I have picked up some contract work, and am now working two contract jobs in addition to my full time job. I was diagnosed 2 years go with multiple sclerosis, so the extra work is not an easy task.
Anyway, we got behind one month on our house payment and have been unable to catch up. Our bank is demanding two months (the behind month plus this month) payment within 48 hours. I don't have it and don't know what to do.
I am very shy single mom that would love to get some help with bills and such, I am young and dont trust just anyone. if you have any xtra that you could give let me know. May all your wishes come true......... I did recieve some help from a nice lady that contacted me here and I would like to encourage people to just have patients, aidpage works and it might just take some time with the new look for people to figure it out. but good luck and hang in there peoples will find you. lots of love Steph
Your help in needed for a family in Minnesota for Christmas. Please gather your friends,family,co-workers and church members and adopt this family for the holiday. Kathy the mother survived a horrible motorcycle accident in October.She took her 16yr old out to meet her side of the family for the 1st time in California. The man responsible for the accident had been drinking, had no license, no insurance and was not legal to be in our country. Her insurance coverage will not help her and her vacation and sick pay ran out. Kathy is finally back to Mn, She is still in the hospital...but finally off life support. She is learning to walk and talk again and has a long way to go. We take food over to the kids regularly but I cannot find anyone willing to financially assist her....even this time of year for XMAS. I need people to send gifts, gift cards, money....whatever your heart feels, just leave me a message on here and I will get the information to you. For those of you who don't have time and just want the information...here it is.Thank you, God Bless and Happy Holidays to you and yours. minnesotaangel64@yahoo.com
Here since: May 26, 2007
Female, 27
Tucson, Arizona, USA
Languages: English
I am a 27 year old mother of three and am expecting once more. I have very little medical documentational proof, and most of the medical records I have no idea on how to obtain them, as I had moved around a lot from house to house, town to town, state to state, doctor to doctor my whole life. I will go through my medical history the best as I can remember it and may be out of order.
Age 9, I started having what my family called "seizures", who would say my eyes would roll in the back of my head, I would fall, often injuring my head, sometimes my body would jerk and other times it would not. I always remember very vividly the feeling I would have right before it would happen, I heard a buzzing sound that started off faint then would grow very loud very fast, and I would regain conciousness hearing the buzzing sound dissipate from my sounds, always leaving me very weak and tired and I often needed to sleep afterward. I would have anywhere from 1-5 per year and I still get them from time to time but they have reduced since I've been in my 20's. These seizures started after I fell from a tireswing and hitting my head on a rock and urinating in my pants at a place I can no longer recall, as I was 9 years old. Ever since this event, I have had these "seizures". Several years after I started having these seizures my mother grew concerned and decided to send me to Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for testing for epilepsy. I got tested for months and all tests came up negative and said that there was no known medical cause for my seizures. I then moved away, and nothing else was done about this until I was 15 years old when I had a seizure in English class (the first time I had one in public) and was rushed to the hospital by my grandparents who came to pick me up. My pediatrician was Dr. George Fatula, who has a practice in DuBois, Punxsutawney, and Brookville , PA offices. That particular day I was in the DuBois office as it was closer to my school which was located in Reynoldsville, PA. A nurse made a comment that my blood pressure was so weak that she was unable to take my blood pressure. I ended up getting referred to a pediatrician cardiologist from a group located out of Danville, PA who came to DuBois hospital to evaluate and treat me. He told me that my seizures and fainting spells was probably due to quick movements and my blood pressure dropping. I was prescribed salt pills or a high sodium diet. I first tried the salt pills, but forgot to take them a lot so I opted for the striving for a high sodium diet. It seemed to help to some extent, but it did not curb the seizures either.
Age 12, I told my mom that my back was hurting me every day for many months and I thought I needed a doctor. So my mom took me to a chiropractor who said I had scoliosis. His name was Dr. Goodman from Pittsburgh, PA and he advised that I see an orthopedic surgeon. I ended up moving back to where my family is from, to Brookville area where I saw Dr. Alexander Krot where I got x rays and told the degrees of my curvatures and was told there was nothing that could be done for me. I was given a paper of exercise figures and sent on my way. I was very scared of the demeanor of this doctor and was terrified of him and went back to him few times after that. This is where I developed my intense fear of doctors. Just their titles alone make me nervous and that makes me seem less credible when I am describing my symptoms. This made me not want to openly discuss my medical/emotional history openly.
Age 13, hospitalized for having thoughts and urges to kill myself with my prescription medication I was prescribed for gastritis. I was in foster care at this time because of severe childhood abuse and turmoil and I was sick for 2 weeks and missed a lot of school. I recall my foster father saying that he thought I was faking it and that he didnt think I realy was sick, and was particularly interested in finding out why I was so sick. I had also had a traumatic experience with an older guy who was 17, who had tricked me into thinking that he didnt have a girlfriend and seduced me and dumped me and ultimately humiliated me. He told everyone who would listen that he was unable to penetrate me and he needed a crowbar to get inside me. I was socially outcasted from then on, which led me into the hospital. I don't think that I mentioned anything about being sick, even though it was the most agonizing pain I have ever endured for the first time. I made no mention of it, but it really did impact me. So I was in a children's psychiatric unit at DuBois Regional Medical Center east and I was a resident for more than 30 days, due to the fact that I was a foster child and my foster family had divorced and I was not allowed to return. It was at DuBois Regional Medical Center where I was assigned to a dr named Dr. Bob DiGellarmo (i am not sure how his last name is spelled) and he was the most unethical doctor I have ever met. I told him what happened about the situation that preceded my admittance there, and he told me that I was raped. I told him no I was not raped that I wanted it to happen in the moment and I was willing and consenting. Then he sat there and continued to say that he raped me and I had made the mistake of telling him that another girl in the unit with me was the sister of the 17 year old guy who used and humilated me. I never said anything to anyone, and the following day, the sister threatened me on more than one occasion after she learned from sources unknown to me that I was the girl that was "falsely accusing him of rape" when I said no such thing. I really believe that Dr Bob had told her his fabrication of events in addition to her brother telling her the same thing. Not long after this, I had secretly attempted to strangle myself in the bathroom one night with my bra (i was strangely not on suicide watch after this event) and I remember my face turning red and my conciousness was starting to go fuzzy and I had a flash image of my grandmother crying over my death so I stopped; my gram was everything to me and still is. For a long time she was the only person I really felt and believed that she really truly cared about me. After release of the hospital to another foster home, i was required to see a counselor once or twice a week for a year or two. I had bad experiences with Zoloft in the hospital, it caused jittery tremors and my stomach felt like it was on fire. They changed my prescription to prozac where i remained on it for the next few months. I remember vividly having an erotic fantasy of cutting myself up and masturbating in my blood and relishing in this. It subsquently scared me and embarrassed me that I never told anyone about it and I stopped taking my medicine, pretending to still take it for a couple months after I had quit taking it. I refused to take medications after this event.
Age 20 I was attending Penn State University and I was in the most pain I had ever been in in my whole life. It rendered me unable to attend classes and unable to leave my couch. I was in writhing agony even laying down which was a relief from when I had to walk around to use the bathroom and get food and take care of my children. My live in boyfriend was convinced that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was just lazy and looking for attention. This not only depressed me, but it downright angered me because I knew it was very real and I was not making any of it up and I was suffering.
Age 22, my whole life fell apart. I developed a drinking problem, and this was when my health slowly starting declining even more. This is when I started isolating myself and spiraled into a depression from the devastating events that were happening along with the development of my sensitivity to all of my senses. I lived with my brother, leaving my children to be cared for by my family members and I started down a shame spiral that led me to vomiting daily. I never forced myself to vomit, my stomach actually burned and I would eventually throw up. I would eat and throw up. I found that if i ate bagels with cream cheese daily then I puked less. So I ate 1-3 bagels a day for the next several months. In time, I found that smoking marijuana also significantly reduced the duration, frequency that I would throw up. I thought I was bulemic, but at the same time it didnt make sense to me, because I never wanted to throw up. It would just happen. So I called it "bulemia beyond my will and control". Now, my sensitivies have worstened and expanded to more excruciating measures. I can vomit from a bad smell, or a disgusting sight. My stomach will burn if I even hear undesirable sounds and if I have bright lights (or sunlight) in my eyes. I have been a daily marijuana user since age 22, out of necessity, loathing myself for constantly breaking the law and being depressed because I don't feel I have much choice.
Age 24-25 ish, I saw Dr. Joseph Prusakowski from Brookville PA. and for the first time in many years I finally opened up to a doctor and pleaded with him to help me to have a quality of life. I was sick and was bed ridden for months and I was not getting better. I was having great difficulty walking and had a couple of bouts of physical therapy to rehabilitate my right hip. I was afraid that I was going to get nowhere once again, but to my surprise, this was the first doctor in many years who really cared enough to try to help me. He referred me to physical therapy and Dr. Laun Hallstrom who was a pain management doctor who tried many different ways to control my pain. He first gave me muscle relaxers and pain medication to aid with my physical therapy. Then I was in more pain from physical therapy so he tried a semi-surgical outbound procedure by putting needles of some numbing solution in my lower back and problematic hip. I had 3 or 4 procedures and it was not working. It was painful and I found it to be pointless. Then I lost all respect for him when he prescribed Lexapro for me in attempt to treat my depression from the failure of my treatment. I was so mad that he would do that, but I decided that since I was trying to apply for SSI, I had to at least try it and I did. The medication made me mean and isolated myself. I remember sleeping a lot and fluctuating rapidly to not being able to sleep. Constantly back and forth from insomnia to excessive sleeping and back again. I felt I was going crazy. I felt that my doctors, with the best intentions, were not helping me and were causing me more pain and frustation because my therapy was failing. I had also develped a strange urinary issue and was unable to pee. My bladder got so sore and painful from being full and I was unable to empty it. I went to emergency room after emergency room. I went to Brookville Hospital ER where a nurse named Nixon gave me a catheter bag (it was my first time) and then left it inserted in my urethra for the next 2 hours. After one hour I was in severe pain and I was repetedly ignored. After an hour of telling 3 different employees that would actually look at me, no one came. I became hysterical and was crying. It was then that she and the doctor rushed in. The nurse crossly asked me why I was crying and I told her I was in pain for a long time and I was ignored. She then said that she would fix that problem and ripped the catheter out of me while the doctor stood there and watched. As she ripped the catheter out, I screamed out in severe pain and was sent home with some aintibiotic with my urethra in severe pain. I later went to DuBois Hospital and I received excellent care. I ended up seeing a urologist named Dr, Javieer Reddy out of Brookville. He said that my urethra was too narrow and that I had a small kidney stone. He said that I needed surgery to enlarge my urethra which was also quite painful afterward. I went back for my checkup after the surgery, and my urethra narrowed on its own again. Wasted time and unnecessary surgery. I was given medication that is usually given to old men with prostate issues and my urinary symptoms gradually dissipated over time. But all through that time I was in the worst pain I had ever experienced to date and I really believed that I was going to die. This was the period of time that I was sick, in pain, and bedridden for the longest time ever. 11 months. I ended up being denied SSI because they ruled that I was able to have a telecommunications customer service job, as I have had previous experience doing and it devastated me. I did not disclose my depression or emotional issues because I was afraid and unwilling to take any more medication. So I was denied SSI so I was forced to move with my mom when she wanted to move to Tucson, AZ. I knew that if I didnt I would have just stayed in that room and maybe died for all I know. In the rural PA that I am from, there are no jobs like that, and the few that are close by that are phone jobs involved selling stuff and I have never been able to successfully sell anything. I moved here, and I have had 2 jobs since I have been here and neither one for very long. I am unable to work in my current condition and I just want relief so I can work. This has not yet happened.
I am 27, sick, weak, in pain and so very depressed. I am always constipated and I am in terrible pain trying to have a bowel movement from gas and often times my anus will bleed because the waste is so hard. I am unable to work and I am unable to clean my house....I am barely able to function enough to perform my motherly duties. The days go on it gets harder and harder to provide care for my children. I walk around feeling half dead and my only relief is getting high all day every day that I can. I hate having to rely on this as my medicine, I spend so much of my money on it just so I can eat. At first it was worth it, but now its running my partner's income practically dry and we are having trouble making ends meet, all in the name of comfort for me. I hate living this way, I hate feeling like a loser, and I hate doing drugs to get through the day. I am afraid for my family because I know my lifestyle could catch up to me and I could get caught at any time. I desperately need help.
I have an extreme personality and I have often been misunderstood and disliked because of it. I sometimes tried both ends of the extremes and none if it works. And yet, I can't ever find the happy medium of normalcy and it often leaves people wondering about my choices. I do believe that a lot of the devastating events that have happened to me are a direct result of poor choices I have made, and yet I do not know how to not have extreme, radical thinking and I do not know how to make sound decisions under emotional distress.
I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed with something called PDD, pervasive developental disorder, a form of autism. I was never aware of anyone in my family of having autism and the childs father was just as confused as i was because no one in his family had it. The father blamed his having autism on my genetics but had no real proof. Last summer, I made a number of google searches about autism and on my symptoms and found something called Wilson's Disease. I remember crying when I read the page. I cried because I was convinced that this is what has been plaguing me my whole life. I thought that all of the issues I had were seperate and unrelated. I became angry from all of the medical mistreatment I have receieved over the years and I am terrified of doctors now.
I have noticed in the past year, I have dark spots interfereing with my vision slightly. And I have a yellow-ish ring in my eye that is visible up close.
I need a doctor that will put aside their nature to come up with their own theory of what is wrong with me. I am tired of hearing that nobody can help me. I believe that someone can help me. I need someone to humor me and test me for Wilson's Disease as a starting point in attempting to figure out what is wrong with me. If that comes up negative I need the doctor to be patient with me and keep testing and researching to find out what is wrong with me. I need help. I can't live like this anymore. I want my children to have a mother who is relatively more able to take care of herself and her home and her children. All I want is to feel better. I am currently pregnant now, and I do not plan to have any more children after this. Please help me have quality of life because I have none. I am desperate, my situation is desperate, I need money and I need to be well to work or get disability....something....anything to provide for my family. I am tired of being hungry and being sick and losing weight. I am tired of the pain. I am just tired.
transformationwormgirl@hotmail.com
doctors please email me. I have no money or even insurance at this time. I need a doctor who is willing to evaluate, investigate, and test on a charity basis. I need a doctor who is willing to fly to where I currently live in Tucson AZ to do this. Ultimately, I need a doctor like Dr. House, from the medical show on Fox. There has to really be doctors that are obsessive about solving the puzzle of the patient like he is. Let me have hope once again that I could know what is wrong with me and have real and humane treatment.
Here since: Jun 16, 2007
Female, 32
USA
Languages: english
I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis on August 16,2006. Since that day my life has become a living hell. From falling, to not being able to control my bowels and bladder. I’m about to be kicked out my apartment and don’t have the money to find a new place. I don’t like the direction my life is taking.
Here since: Sep 2, 2007
Female, 36
Management
Northwest, Indiana, USA
Languages: English
Divorced mom of 2 of the most awesome children anyone could dream up! Diagnosed with liver disease in 2000 and separated a year later, I've been working very hard to learn different ways to take care of myself and keep myself as well and functional as possible while raising my children to be strong, independent individuals.
I hate asking anyone for help and as wealthy as my family are, they will not do anything for anyone. I have a sister that donates thousands of dollars to help others, but will not help family, a dad that only thinks he has one daughter when he has 3 and grandparents and aunts and uncles who donate scholarships and oodles of money to others, but just don't value family (unless, of course, you're as wealthy as them and want to take them to brunch). It's as if it's all about clout, not the actual giving. When I was well, I helped so many people. I let people live in my home, helped people get off drugs, gave food and money. I helped people with Christmas gifts for their children. I volunteered and donated my time for people not even looking for volunteers. I've always tried to help the people around me. I have always been the one people call at 3am when they're upset or been through a loss. Why is it that when my life turns upside-down, everyone who called themselves a friend disappears?
I worked very hard after high school to put myself through college and worked my way up the ladder in business to a management lvl position in a medical clinic. When they found out I was sick, they attempted to force my resignation, than when I refused, they called me into a room with 6 bosses and a company attorney and fired me. I had never even missed a day of work. That was 3 years ago and since, cannot find a position that I can actually function with. Who wants an employee that comes in late or has to leave early or just has to stop working every so often to rest? Who wants an employee that can do the work some days and not others? I type 80 wpm, but only for a couple hours a day, than my fingers hurt too badly. I have the ability to do so much, but can't. It's so frustrating. And if I do feel good and go out on a limb and do extra while I can, than I suffer so badly later for it and can't even move the part of my body I used. Sometimes it's non-stop pain, sometimes it's intermittant, but the fatigue and mood swings are intense all the time.
Since my initial dx of liver disease in 2000, I have also been diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroid disease, seronegative arthritis, fibromyalgia, bp disorder and a list of other nasties that alone would put any normal person in bed. I'm not quite sure of the bp disorder. I think my mood swings are due to the fact that I'm so sick all the time....not some organic or chemical illness. I've been through hell and had to find ways to deal with my emotional state. I don't want to be down, so I think I try and "act as if" I'm okay, but than when I can't, I appear to be having mood swings.
But I have children that need me. Unfortunately, at 12 and 15, I feel like I need them more now. They are amazing. My daughter is a gymnast and cheerleader with aspirations to be a pediatrician someday. My son is in ROTC, football and German club and is just an amazing chef!
I continue to try to work. The position I currently have started at 40 hrs a week and has dwindled to 16 hrs now. I do merchandising which allows me to schedule myself and work at my own pace. Sometimes, even skimping by doing very little. The job is a blessing, although I'm able to work so little now that it doesn't help much anymore. I'm becoming scared. I've even had this boss tell me to "take some time off" recently, which in my experience means something more like, we're getting ready to fire you.
My doctors don't want me to work at all, but I always joke "Doc, we live in different worlds" when they tell me to quit and apply for SSI. I know the drill with Social Security. You apply, get denied and than fight tooth and nail for however long until you have nothing left but the shoes on your feet. Even then, you're lucky to be considered disabled.
I'm so sick all the time. I try to explain to people the feeling of having the worst flu and hangover all in one every single day. I feel like I have no where to turn. I'm scared to lose my children if I can't afford to take care of them. As it is, I'm so far in debt from medical bills, I couldn't get help from anywhere if I tried, and there are warrants out for my arrest because I can't pay medical bills or make it to the hearings. Even if I could make it to those hearings I probably wouldn't....Why?? So they can garnish the little bit of money I do have coming in?!!! Who came up with the law that if you can't pay, you either come to court to allow garnishment, or go to jail for contempt and have to pay the amount of the bill to get out??? It's ridiculous. If I could pay my bills I would. I did when I could. I've never even had a credit card. I don't abuse credit.
I'm currently fighting for disability Medicaid to pay my medical bills and prescriptions. I try to explain that without my medications, I can't work, but without Medicaid I can't get my medication and see my doctor, but it doesn't work like that. I suppose they will end up reevaluating me when I'm totally incapacitated and homeless because that's where it appears to be going. If I end up denied, the medical care will cease and I will not be able to function at all.
I'm really scared and desperate. I need help, but I don't even know where to turn anymore. I have approximately 6 hours a day where I feel semi-normal. I still have the pain and fatigue, but I can work through it. Usually about 3 hours in the morning and 3 in the later afternoon, than I'm done. My body wakes me up between 4 and 5am and I'm done by noon. Like I'm 85, not 35.
If I can't take care of my children and have to live in agony constantly, what's the point to living at all? My children are my life. I can deal with being sick if I have their smiles to drive me on. I'm so tired. I'm just so tired and I can't do this anymore. In my eyes, family is all there is. If I can't have mine, than what's the point?
Legal help? Financial help? It all seems so temporary, but what else is there? Like a temporary fix to a permanent, ongoing problem. I'm beginning to understand why people went to Dr. Kevorkian. Quality of life is everything and when the scale of suffering tips too far on the side of agony and less and less on the side of joy, what's left?
So whatever help can be given, please, please think of us. We are grateful for anything and everything.
Hello, My name is Jeanie. I am 57 years old, and at the very end of my emotional rope! I am out of money out of time, and out of options. I do not know where to turn! God help me Please!! I have been separated from my husband for over a year. Since then I have held several jobs all of which were complete dead ends. My husband is a retired factory worker living on a very fixed income, and he is unable to support me financially outside of our marriage. When he retired from his job we moved South, and I gave up a full time job. I had to move from there back to my home state where I am originally from, because I could not afford to live in a separate residence in the South. Nor could either one of us afford to get a divorce, because we could not afford to pay lawyers. I gave up my home, and all rights to it because my husband had promised me that he would “help me out”, NOT!! I was naïve in assuming that he would. He had promised me that he would pay off my credit cards and give me a substantial part of what our home was worth. I was very stupid not to have obtained this in writing. Needless to say he didn’t do what he promised. I moved back to my home state using credit I did not really have to use. Once I had gotten settled I did obtain a good job, but I was seriously under qualified for it. I accepted the job because I desperately needed an income at the time. I lasted at that job for approx.. 5 months, and it was very it was a very stressful period trying to fit into a job that I did not have the experience for. My employer finally let me go, with assurances that I would be able to get unemployment. NOT!! I did not qualify for unemployment because I did not make enough within a certain period, and because I had not worked long enough. Since then I have been working the odd jobs for a temp agency, but those odd jobs were few. I come from an era where the wife stayed at home while the husband went out and earned a paycheck. I would have worked outside our home, but my husband preferred me at home. I was a housewife and mother for many years and I do not regret those years. My children are now grown and doing well in their own lives. But because I stayed home and took care of my home and raised my children, I have not the “marketable” skills that would make it possible for me to obtain a good job and earn a comfortable living. I also have several age related ailments, while not disabling, make it very difficult for me to work a full-time job outside my home. I would love to get training in a marketable skill and develop a business, and work from my home. I could possibly obtain a grant, (impossible to get unless you hire someone), or educational loan for training,….(govt. grants)……“this is also a huge money making machine for internet scammers!!!” I am unable to hold down a full-time job and go to school at the same time. It is more than I can handle at my age, considering my current health situation. I have a disease called, “cervical spondylosis”. It is very painful and debilitating. I also have bone spurs in the heels and pads of my feet, osteoarthritis, and a small tumor at the base of my brain. Thankfully this tumor is, as far as I know, benign. I have been told by my doctor that I need to have yet another MRI, of which I have had many! I can not afford it! I tried to get help from a community organization called, “Volunteers In Medicine”, but …..again I do not qualify because I have to be completely uninsured. This is another reason I have not yet tried to obtain a divorce, as long as I remain married, I am still under his insurance. I am not a lazy person, I exercise and try to keep myself in shape, but I have been so severely depressed that some days I can not even function. I have scoured the internet in hopes of finding some kind of work at home, for an online job. God help me! Several months ago….as now, I was so desperate for a way to make some money that I fell for an internet scam. It was one of those “Nigerian” scams. I was very stupid and very naïve, and very desperate. Desperate people will do stupid stuff, as I well know. As a result of that scam my bank account was wiped out, along with some of the banks money. I tried everything to get help. I called all the Federal offices I could think of. Secret Service, CIA, FBI, etc., you name it and I called it. No one would help me. I understand how being involved might have made me look less than innocent, but I truly did not realize until it was too late. I was an unknowing participant. I have always been a very trusting individual and willing to believe that there are honest people in this world. But, my trust has been betrayed time and again. Just a couple of weeks ago now I was talked into investing money I don’t even have on an internet business that I was promised would earn me quick money. I had one credit card with some credit left on it, now I have none! Scammed again!!! I am sick to death of all the lies, and untruths that are flooding the internet!! These people were very smooth and they know just what to say to have you believing them!! How do these people sleep at night knowing what they do to people!!! I am not a dummy, just way too trusting. My trust in our Government to protect its American Citizens against fraud and other unscrupulous acts has been broken. Our government officials and the politicians who are running this United States Government are all out for themselves, first and foremost. They sit around giving themselves raises probably with our tax dollars, while people like me are lost in the shuffle of government bureaucracy. Now I find myself in the position of having to beg someone to save me from living in the streets. I have been living off credit for some months just to survive. Now my credit is shot and I can not obtain a loan, needless to say. I do at least have a good vehicle, about the only thing I got from my marriage worth anything, but even it is going to need maintenance soon. I am praying for a miracle because I am all out of time and money. I am tired and my spirit is broken, and I am very scared. I have registered with 2 websites where folks are allowed to “beg for money”. On one of them I have yet to receive any help, and the other site, I paid for the opportunity to tell my story, they took my money and never did publish the story!! I do at least have this computer and I have been working as a, “chat host”, for a couple of internet sites. Basically chat hosting means stripping for money. It is NOT what I want to do, but was forced to do to survive! I do not want to live this way!!! Someone please help me to make my life worth living. I just want a chance to be someone before its too late for me!! I have rent due in 2 days, and I do not have the money to pay for it. God help me!! Please!!! If anyone can find it in their heart to help me I know that it could change my life for the better! Is there anyone out there who really cares???? If there is, please renew my faith, and I will get down on my knee’s and pray to God to bless you, and Thank You All!!!!!
Here since: May 25, 2007
Female, 36
HomeMaker
none
Williamsport, Pennsylvania, USA
Languages: English
I am a mother who spends lot of time in and out of the hospital my huband does not work at this time and i have a son with small dissibilites I have hep c and 4 back surgeries Im trying to make ends meet and i just cant do it i need help if some one could
Here since: Jan 29, 2008
Male, 40
Disabled
Remlap, AL
Languages: English
A little background information. I am 40, almost 41 years old, married with two beautiful daughters ages 8 and 5 and disabled since April 2001. I receive Social Security Disability but we all know that it does not come close to a regular pay check. Before I got sick, my wife and I were both working and our combined income was close to $85K per year. I began getting sick in 1999 with acid reflux or GERD. I went through every drug on the market and using each above the recommended maximum dosage with little or no relief. When it began eating away at the lining of my esophagus to the point I was developing holes in the lower portion near the point where it connects to the stomach and spilling into my lungs so badly that they thought I had developed asthma, their only other option for me was a surgical procedure called fundoplication. This procedure takes the upper portion of the stomach and and wrap it around the esophagus to tighten the valve to prevent the acid from coming back up and to cover the holes. It was supposed to be a laproscopic procedure where I had it done on one day, spend the night in the hospital and go home the next morning. My maximum time off work was to be two weeks. I actually left the hospital on the day I was supposed to return to work. When I kind of came to on the first day after having the laproscopic procedure go so badly that I had to be opened up the full length of my abdomin so that they could try to fix what they did that almost killed me plus I was in intensive care. The next day, they did a test where I drank some awful tasting mess so they could check for any leaks in my stomach or anything. Guess what, they stated that they found leaks and back into the operating room I went where they took everything they did the day before apart and did it all again. This time when I woke up, again in intensive care, I was on a ventolator for a week. They took the thin lining that is between your organs and your skin to keep then from growing to each other to wrap my stomach and seal off the 3 or 4 places that it tore open during the laproscopic surgery. During the first, laproscopic, surgery, in addition to my stomach tearing open in 3 places, my liver was cut/damaged to the point that the gave me at least 4 units of blood. I haven't been able to work since then. I have constant diarrhea, abdominal pain which is increased when I eat anything at all, on a scale of 1 to 10, I stay around 8 or 9 all the time. I also have a partial small bowel obstruction that will eventually have to be surgically fixed. The obstruction(s) are caused from the extreme amount of scar tissue that I have in my abdomin which is why they don't want to operate again until they absolutely have to. I have been admitted to the hospital 12 times in just the past 3 years and have already had to have surgery to correct a blockage in my colon. My small intestines, colon and I don't know what else is attached to my skin where the lining was removed. I cannot lift anything more than 5 to 7 pounds, pull, strain, climb, crawl nor stand, sit or lye down for more than about an hour and a half at a time because of the pain. I also have areas that are close to herniating which will also cause another surgical procedure. When they admit me for a blockage, I spend a week there with a tube down my nose (NG Tube), in my stomach connected to a suction pump to pull all of that stuff back out and clear the blockage, for then anyway. One, I cannot even stand to think about any other surgery and two, the doctors don't want to do it either. In addition to all of that, and I left some things out, I have degenerative disk disease in my back, my spine has lost it's curve at the end where the tail bone is. Also, I have to sleep with a CPAP machine because of sleep apneia and have to take medicine during the day because I also have narcolepsy. Dealing with all of this has caused depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder from the surgery. I still and always will deal with these health issues and mental stress from now on. Because of all of my problems, it's obvious that my wife had to leave her job to care for my and our children so we have been trying to make it on Social Security Disability which is getting harder and harder every day. We have already gone through our savings and 401(k)'s to survive and keep our home and a vehicle. Our credit is shot because we have had the 2 cars that we had when this all happened repossessed. Also, all of the other credit we had then, fell behind and pretty much totally destroyed our credit. We are behind one house payment and the mortgage company is a pain to deal with and absolutely refuse to offer any assistance at all. I am still trying to pay some on my hospital co-payments that are now pushing a total of close to $10K and I never know from day to day when I may have to go back. Plus, like everyone else, I have the normal power, phone, cable, water, trash pickup, car payment, car insurance, homeowners insurance, food and school things for our girls. We also heat and cook using propane gas. We have been without propane for 95% of the winter and we are out now which means we heat with small electric heaters and cook on a hot plate, microwave or small toaster oven. Right this moment, we have a total of maybe $5 to last two more weeks and it's about to drive us crazy. We can't cook, heat nor watch TV because the cable has been turned off until I can get money to pay them in two weeks. I am the type of person who hates to have to ask others for help. I would rather help others than to ask for help but I don't have much of a choice right now. Our families, our church and our friends have been great during all of this but they all have their own bills and families to take care of also. Any help would greatly be appreciated! May God bless you!
My story is probably a bore to most of you.I married at 14 years old, had two children and have been married for 44 years to the same man.He is a good man that has been good to me and the children.My children married and have children so I am a grandmother and now a great-great grandmother.I am so proud of my family.My husband and I had 50.00 when we got married and we went to K-mart and bought two towels, two washcloths and toothpaste.We lived on crackers and peanut butter for two weeks until payday!We both came from large families who worked hard and paid our bills.We didn’t have much but we were happy.We both worked two jobs and went to school at night to get an education.
Over the years many things have happened in my life. I had to leave my job because of illness, Lupus, many things started happening to me health wise.Lupus affects everything.I now have so many different illness and medicines to take it is depressing. I think losing my hair on top of it all is the worst because being a woman everyone stares.It will not grow back.It isn’t because of the chemo but because of the Lupus. But I have kept on.Maybe one day I will get some help with that too.
We have never been rich or really even well off but we were comfortable. Then my daughter went through a terrible divorce. He didn’t care if the kids had food or anything. We tried to help our daughter keep her house and keep the kids in clothes and etc.This put a strain on us, but that is how we were raised to help each other.
When my husband retired after 40 years on the job he didn’t have a 401k or anything like that but we thought we could make it.He started working part time as soon as he retired because they would not insure me anymore. (This we didn’t know) I felt bad about that but we did what we had to.
After going through so much financially a “friend” told us he could double or even triple what savings we had.I was so excited and I trusted him.Well the “friend” is gone and so is the money.Like it never existed.We finally found her but the money was gone. My illness has also drained us, but this was devastating.I trusted this person and now we are so in debt we could lose our home.I am responsible for this because I did it.I can’t look my husband in the eye anymore.I can’t pay my bills now and will lose my home if something doesn’t happen soon.I kept praying something would come up and a heavenly angel would help us.Didn’t happen.But I still believe in Angels.Maybe they are internet Angels!!!!
I have been so depressed I gave myself 120 days to either get some help or do what I have to do.I want to live a long life with my family but I am so ashamed of what I have done. My husband doesn’t deserve this nor my family.Then….. I accidently came across this site.Could???Would??? Someone help me???Please………… if you could send something, anything I would appreciate it.If I come out of this I will do whatever it takes to always help someone else in this situation.I have always helped anyone never dreaming someone could be this desperate.Life is not worth living right now. My nerves are terrible making the disease get worse
Is my life worth a dollar to anyone? I know there are thousands of people out there and I thank you for listening.Please keep me in your thoughts. If you could send anything by mail I would appreciate it or by paypal.I am desperate. God Bless. My email is: slaspin60@yahoo.com.
Here since: May 3, 2007
Male, 49
unemployed
Pompano Beach,Florida, Florida, USA
Languages: English
I've become disabled and not working.Although I do have money coming from a lawsuit,it's not because of my disability,and it may take weeks or even months before I see a penny on that.However, my disability is due to a hernia,and because its not considered an emergency,I have to be put on a waiting lisit to see doctors and go to surgery,which is going to take a while,because I have no money.I have no way of making any money, and have no family to speak of.
My main situation is this,which I believe hinders my ability to do better then I am.I've traveled thousands(1000s) of miles since Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans,Louisiana last year.The Federal Emergency Management Association(FEMA) flew me from Louisiana to Phoenix,Arizona where I stayed for a while. But I decided to move,which finally landed me in Pompano Beach,Florida and where I'm currently holding on.The problem is ,I am stuck. No money.No job.No friends or family.And I'm disabled.
If you could, and would like to help me-out, you can write or e-mail me with any information or help that you can give .My address is :
Hello, I dont know if You can help people in Sweden. Im retired fron work 5 years ago because I got sick and cant work any more. I just have money to pay my rent and to buy food. Now my mother got a stroke and I want to travel to her and try to help her. I need some mony to travel. You are my last hope.
Hello I need HELP well I lost my husband after losing him I was responsible for paying for his funeral by myself he had absolutely no money saved or life insurance He had a heart problem starting from the age of 20 years old and his life ENDED at the age of 27 he went into Cardioarrest while we were in the car that he was driving after dealing with that situation that I am still dealing with. I was struck with a CANCEROUS LUMP that I needed surgery for I then had to undergo another surgery for a tumor THANK GOD IT WAS NOT CANCEROUS. Then I became homeless with my son because I was laid off due to being sick I was forced to live in my car for 3 months with my son I eventually got a part time job and was eventually able to get an apartment to provide a roof over my son and my head then my part time job ended which forced me to fall back in my rent I almost became homeless again then eventually I got some help from the homeless org which they were able to pay some of my rent I still currently owe $2500 in back rent now I was told THAT I WOULD HAVE TO UNDERGO A 3RD SURGERY which will cost $7000 and my surgery was to be schuduled by February 19, 2007 if anyone has it in their HEART to HELP ME it will be GREATLY APPRECIATED the funny thing is I was the individual that did volunteer work to help the less fortunate and also helped friends that were battered and mistreated and now their's no one to help me I helped others and did not expect anything in return but hopefully I can meet some individuals that have the goodness in their hearts to help the less fortunate. If everyone can submitt $5 dollars each I will eventually be able to have my surgery done. Thank You Please if you wish to donate please email me before doing so.
I am ashamed to basically beg for money but I have been sick for a long time and I am about to be homeless. Being sick is awful and not having income doesn't make it easier. I have applied for disability but it is a long process and you have to be practically dead to get it off the bat. I have tried to work and I physically can't do it right now. I just got sicker and the doctors think I have lupus but for the time being I am not getting anywhere which means I am not getting better. I need all the help I can get and any kind of donation would make all of the difference in the world. i have a paypal account-ak221983@hotmail.com. I just don't know what else to do.
Greetings! I am a 44/YO woman diagnosed with Lupus In April, 2006. I am very sick and have attempted working. I enjoy working but when I do I become very ill. I have a disability hearing coming up, but not until June, 2007. The bills have piled up and it just adds to my stress. I am going to do a work-at-home job but it will take time to earn income from that. I need help and don't know where to turn. I am faithful and spiritual. I pray for others mostly because I am not a selfish person. I need some financial help to carry me through until my work-at-home position starts paying me. Is there a kind-hearted person who can help a sick, weakened soul such as myself out there? If so, your help would be so greatly and deeply appreciated! May God bless those souls who reply to my call for help! I have no family, so that is not an option for me. I desperately need medical care and cannot afford it! I am on my knees and just trying to survive. Someone please help me! Thank you greatly for reading my request for help! Gina Bennett
I am a 27 year old mother of three and am expecting once more. I have very little medical documentational proof, and most of the medical records I have no idea on how to obtain them, as I had moved around a lot from house to house, town to town, state to state, doctor to doctor my whole life. I will go through my medical history the best as I can remember it and may be out of order.
Age 9, I started having what my family called "seizures", who would say my eyes would roll in the back of my head, I would fall, often injuring my head, sometimes my body would jerk and other times it would not. I always remember very vividly the feeling I would have right before it would happen, I heard a buzzing sound that started off faint then would grow very loud very fast, and I would regain conciousness hearing the buzzing sound dissipate from my sounds, always leaving me very weak and tired and I often needed to sleep afterward. I would have anywhere from 1-5 per year and I still get them from time to time but they have reduced since I've been in my 20's. These seizures started after I fell from a tireswing and hitting my head on a rock and urinating in my pants at a place I can no longer recall, as I was 9 years old. Ever since this event, I have had these "seizures". Several years after I started having these seizures my mother grew concerned and decided to send me to Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for testing for epilepsy. I got tested for months and all tests came up negative and said that there was no known medical cause for my seizures. I then moved away, and nothing else was done about this until I was 15 years old when I had a seizure in English class (the first time I had one in public) and was rushed to the hospital by my grandparents who came to pick me up. My pediatrician was Dr. George Fatula, who has a practice in DuBois, Punxsutawney, and Brookville , PA offices. That particular day I was in the DuBois office as it was closer to my school which was located in Reynoldsville, PA. A nurse made a comment that my blood pressure was so weak that she was unable to take my blood pressure. I ended up getting referred to a pediatrician cardiologist from a group located out of Danville, PA who came to DuBois hospital to evaluate and treat me. He told me that my seizures and fainting spells was probably due to quick movements and my blood pressure dropping. I was prescribed salt pills or a high sodium diet. I first tried the salt pills, but forgot to take them a lot so I opted for the striving for a high sodium diet. It seemed to help to some extent, but it did not curb the seizures either.
Age 12, I told my mom that my back was hurting me every day for many months and I thought I needed a doctor. So my mom took me to a chiropractor who said I had scoliosis. His name was Dr. Goodman from Pittsburgh, PA and he advised that I see an orthopedic surgeon. I ended up moving back to where my family is from, to Brookville area where I saw Dr. Alexander Krot where I got x rays and told the degrees of my curvatures and was told there was nothing that could be done for me. I was given a paper of exercise figures and sent on my way. I was very scared of the demeanor of this doctor and was terrified of him and went back to him few times after that. This is where I developed my intense fear of doctors. Just their titles alone make me nervous and that makes me seem less credible when I am describing my symptoms. This made me not want to openly discuss my medical/emotional history openly.
Age 13, hospitalized for having thoughts and urges to kill myself with my prescription medication I was prescribed for gastritis. I was in foster care at this time because of severe childhood abuse and turmoil and I was sick for 2 weeks and missed a lot of school. I recall my foster father saying that he thought I was faking it and that he didnt think I realy was sick, and was particularly interested in finding out why I was so sick. I had also had a traumatic experience with an older guy who was 17, who had tricked me into thinking that he didnt have a girlfriend and seduced me and dumped me and ultimately humiliated me. He told everyone who would listen that he was unable to penetrate me and he needed a crowbar to get inside me. I was socially outcasted from then on, which led me into the hospital. I don't think that I mentioned anything about being sick, even though it was the most agonizing pain I have ever endured for the first time. I made no mention of it, but it really did impact me. So I was in a children's psychiatric unit at DuBois Regional Medical Center east and I was a resident for more than 30 days, due to the fact that I was a foster child and my foster family had divorced and I was not allowed to return. It was at DuBois Regional Medical Center where I was assigned to a dr named Dr. Bob DiGellarmo (i am not sure how his last name is spelled) and he was the most unethical doctor I have ever met. I told him what happened about the situation that preceded my admittance there, and he told me that I was raped. I told him no I was not raped that I wanted it to happen in the moment and I was willing and consenting. Then he sat there and continued to say that he raped me and I had made the mistake of telling him that another girl in the unit with me was the sister of the 17 year old guy who used and humilated me. I never said anything to anyone, and the following day, the sister threatened me on more than one occasion after she learned from sources unknown to me that I was the girl that was "falsely accusing him of rape" when I said no such thing. I really believe that Dr Bob had told her his fabrication of events in addition to her brother telling her the same thing. Not long after this, I had secretly attempted to strangle myself in the bathroom one night with my bra (i was strangely not on suicide watch after this event) and I remember my face turning red and my conciousness was starting to go fuzzy and I had a flash image of my grandmother crying over my death so I stopped; my gram was everything to me and still is. For a long time she was the only person I really felt and believed that she really truly cared about me. After release of the hospital to another foster home, i was required to see a counselor once or twice a week for a year or two. I had bad experiences with Zoloft in the hospital, it caused jittery tremors and my stomach felt like it was on fire. They changed my prescription to prozac where i remained on it for the next few months. I remember vividly having an erotic fantasy of cutting myself up and masturbating in my blood and relishing in this. It subsquently scared me and embarrassed me that I never told anyone about it and I stopped taking my medicine, pretending to still take it for a couple months after I had quit taking it. I refused to take medications after this event.
Age 20 I was attending Penn State University and I was in the most pain I had ever been in in my whole life. It rendered me unable to attend classes and unable to leave my couch. I was in writhing agony even laying down which was a relief from when I had to walk around to use the bathroom and get food and take care of my children. My live in boyfriend was convinced that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was just lazy and looking for attention. This not only depressed me, but it downright angered me because I knew it was very real and I was not making any of it up and I was suffering.
Age 22, my whole life fell apart. I developed a drinking problem, and this was when my health slowly starting declining even more. This is when I started isolating myself and spiraled into a depression from the devastating events that were happening along with the development of my sensitivity to all of my senses. I lived with my brother, leaving my children to be cared for by my family members and I started down a shame spiral that led me to vomiting daily. I never forced myself to vomit, my stomach actually burned and I would eventually throw up. I would eat and throw up. I found that if i ate bagels with cream cheese daily then I puked less. So I ate 1-3 bagels a day for the next several months. In time, I found that smoking marijuana also significantly reduced the duration, frequency that I would throw up. I thought I was bulemic, but at the same time it didnt make sense to me, because I never wanted to throw up. It would just happen. So I called it "bulemia beyond my will and control". Now, my sensitivies have worstened and expanded to more excruciating measures. I can vomit from a bad smell, or a disgusting sight. My stomach will burn if I even hear undesirable sounds and if I have bright lights (or sunlight) in my eyes. I have been a daily marijuana user since age 22, out of necessity, loathing myself for constantly breaking the law and being depressed because I don't feel I have much choice.
Age 24-25 ish, I saw Dr. Joseph Prusakowski from Brookville PA. and for the first time in many years I finally opened up to a doctor and pleaded with him to help me to have a quality of life. I was sick and was bed ridden for months and I was not getting better. I was having great difficulty walking and had a couple of bouts of physical therapy to rehabilitate my right hip. I was afraid that I was going to get nowhere once again, but to my surprise, this was the first doctor in many years who really cared enough to try to help me. He referred me to physical therapy and Dr. Laun Hallstrom who was a pain management doctor who tried many different ways to control my pain. He first gave me muscle relaxers and pain medication to aid with my physical therapy. Then I was in more pain from physical therapy so he tried a semi-surgical outbound procedure by putting needles of some numbing solution in my lower back and problematic hip. I had 3 or 4 procedures and it was not working. It was painful and I found it to be pointless. Then I lost all respect for him when he prescribed Lexapro for me in attempt to treat my depression from the failure of my treatment. I was so mad that he would do that, but I decided that since I was trying to apply for SSI, I had to at least try it and I did. The medication made me mean and isolated myself. I remember sleeping a lot and fluctuating rapidly to not being able to sleep. Constantly back and forth from insomnia to excessive sleeping and back again. I felt I was going crazy. I felt that my doctors, with the best intentions, were not helping me and were causing me more pain and frustation because my therapy was failing. I had also develped a strange urinary issue and was unable to pee. My bladder got so sore and painful from being full and I was unable to empty it. I went to emergency room after emergency room. I went to Brookville Hospital ER where a nurse named Nixon gave me a catheter bag (it was my first time) and then left it inserted in my urethra for the next 2 hours. After one hour I was in severe pain and I was repetedly ignored. After an hour of telling 3 different employees that would actually look at me, no one came. I became hysterical and was crying. It was then that she and the doctor rushed in. The nurse crossly asked me why I was crying and I told her I was in pain for a long time and I was ignored. She then said that she would fix that problem and ripped the catheter out of me while the doctor stood there and watched. As she ripped the catheter out, I screamed out in severe pain and was sent home with some aintibiotic with my urethra in severe pain. I later went to DuBois Hospital and I received excellent care. I ended up seeing a urologist named Dr, Javieer Reddy out of Brookville. He said that my urethra was too narrow and that I had a small kidney stone. He said that I needed surgery to enlarge my urethra which was also quite painful afterward. I went back for my checkup after the surgery, and my urethra narrowed on its own again. Wasted time and unnecessary surgery. I was given medication that is usually given to old men with prostate issues and my urinary symptoms gradually dissipated over time. But all through that time I was in the worst pain I had ever experienced to date and I really believed that I was going to die. This was the period of time that I was sick, in pain, and bedridden for the longest time ever. 11 months. I ended up being denied SSI because they ruled that I was able to have a telecommunications customer service job, as I have had previous experience doing and it devastated me. I did not disclose my depression or emotional issues because I was afraid and unwilling to take any more medication. So I was denied SSI so I was forced to move with my mom when she wanted to move to Tucson, AZ. I knew that if I didnt I would have just stayed in that room and maybe died for all I know. In the rural PA that I am from, there are no jobs like that, and the few that are close by that are phone jobs involved selling stuff and I have never been able to successfully sell anything. I moved here, and I have had 2 jobs since I have been here and neither one for very long. I am unable to work in my current condition and I just want relief so I can work. This has not yet happened.
I am 27, sick, weak, in pain and so very depressed. I am always constipated and I am in terrible pain trying to have a bowel movement from gas and often times my anus will bleed because the waste is so hard. I am unable to work and I am unable to clean my house....I am barely able to function enough to perform my motherly duties. The days go on it gets harder and harder to provide care for my children. I walk around feeling half dead and my only relief is getting high all day every day that I can. I hate having to rely on this as my medicine, I spend so much of my money on it just so I can eat. At first it was worth it, but now its running my partner's income practically dry and we are having trouble making ends meet, all in the name of comfort for me. I hate living this way, I hate feeling like a loser, and I hate doing drugs to get through the day. I am afraid for my family because I know my lifestyle could catch up to me and I could get caught at any time. I desperately need help.
I have an extreme personality and I have often been misunderstood and disliked because of it. I sometimes tried both ends of the extremes and none if it works. And yet, I can't ever find the happy medium of normalcy and it often leaves people wondering about my choices. I do believe that a lot of the devastating events that have happened to me are a direct result of poor choices I have made, and yet I do not know how to not have extreme, radical thinking and I do not know how to make sound decisions under emotional distress.
I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed with something called PDD, pervasive developental disorder, a form of autism. I was never aware of anyone in my family of having autism and the childs father was just as confused as i was because no one in his family had it. The father blamed his having autism on my genetics but had no real proof. Last summer, I made a number of google searches about autism and on my symptoms and found something called Wilson's Disease. I remember crying when I read the page. I cried because I was convinced that this is what has been plaguing me my whole life. I thought that all of the issues I had were seperate and unrelated. I became angry from all of the medical mistreatment I have receieved over the years and I am terrified of doctors now.
I have noticed in the past year, I have dark spots interfereing with my vision slightly. And I have a yellow-ish ring in my eye that is visible up close.
I need a doctor that will put aside their nature to come up with their own theory of what is wrong with me. I am tired of hearing that nobody can help me. I believe that someone can help me. I need someone to humor me and test me for Wilson's Disease as a starting point in attempting to figure out what is wrong with me. If that comes up negative I need the doctor to be patient with me and keep testing and researching to find out what is wrong with me. I need help. I can't live like this anymore. I want my children to have a mother who is relatively more able to take care of herself and her home and her children. All I want is to feel better. I am currently pregnant now, and I do not plan to have any more children after this. Please help me have quality of life because I have none. I am desperate, my situation is desperate, I need money and I need to be well to work or get disability....something....any thing to provide for my family. I am tired of being hungry and being sick and losing weight. I am tired of the pain. I am just tired.
transformationwormgi rl@hotmail.com
doctors please email me. I have no money or even insurance at this time. I need a doctor who is willing to evaluate, investigate, and test on a charity basis. I need a doctor who is willing to fly to where I currently live in Tucson AZ to do this. Ultimately, I need a doctor like Dr. House, from the medical show on Fox. There has to really be doctors that are obsessive about solving the puzzle of the patient like he is. Let me have hope once again that I could know what is wrong with me and have real and humane treatment.
thank you for your time.
The doctors have had me off work sence Jan10,2007, I have applied for SS and Disability, but I have been turn down 3 times, I have no income at all, I was getting 60.00 A week for back child suport, but it has stoped coming, I have lost every thing, my home and I had to sell are items ,we did not have any why to store them. My son is staying at his dad, which he hates, my daughter is staying at friends house. me I stay sometimes with my cousin or I sleep in my car. I really miss my kids I try to see them when I can.But isnt easy with no income.I have ask my doctors to send me back to work but they will not release me. some please help bring are family back together.They are my strenght and I am theirs, we have been through alot together over the last 6 years, after I devorced. And we need each other to keep going.Thank you and GOD BLESS
Here since: Dec 14, 2007
Female, 25
unemployed
Languages: English
Hi. I know that my problems aren't as bad as others out there, but im DESPERATE. I have never been one to ask for help, let alone come right out and ask for money, but At this point I don't know what to do. My money has run out and my roommates are about to kick me out. Im a full time student in Chico. I am done with Fall sesson in college...but have had a horrible time finding a job. Im stuck. I was sending any extra money I had, before I lost my job, to my father to help with his medical bills. I am stuck now. No help from anyone. If I got pregnant or wasn't in school I could probably get help from the state or something. But they won't help you if you are making an attempt to help yourself. I am about to be evicted, my phone was turned off, and i think that i am going to end up on the street or in a shelter. ANY HELP WOULD BE GREAT.
Here since: Mar 5, 2008
Female, 34
chattanooga, tn
Languages: english
Hello. I am new here. I found this place by searching on google for: I'm desperate and need help immediately. Here is my life. I am a married christian woman and I am a 34 years old. I am a mother of 3 children. 8 yrs old, 14 yrs old and one turning 16 in a few weeks.
This is the most difficult time in my life that I have ever been through.
I was recently diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer. I went to the ER one night for chest pains. They did an xray and found a huge tumor in my lung. I had never been so scared in my life. It was devastating. They hospitalized me for a week and ran all kinds of tests on me to diagnose the cancer and the extent of it. They did a biopsy and found out that it is an extremely rare form. As in they thought the diagnosis would be wrong. Apparently the odds of getting this type of cancer and in the way I had it present, I had better odds of winning the lottery than of getting this type. It was found in my lung, which isn't the usual primary spot for this type of cancer to be found as a primary lesion, it isn't lung cancer. It is usally only found there as it metastisises to 2nd - final stage. So they were shocked to say the least. Apparently some people, as in only an extremely small percentage of people, are genetically predisposed to getting this type of cancer. It is some form of genetic flaw. They told me that this type of cancer category makes up 1% of all cancers out there. The way it presented in me happens in 1% of the 1%. That is what I mean when I say rare! You can almostjust name the people that have had this cancer like this. They wanted it surgically removed and told us the best place would be at Northwestern in Chicago for us. That presented a lot more problems as in we couldn't afford to do all that. My husband was making good money and we had insurance, but nobody plans for this to happen. We couldn't afford to travel, so this was going to be difficult.
So another month and lots more test inbetween later. They told me that they found a second lesion, this one on the left front side of my skull bone, on my forehead over my eye. They had no idea what this was and thought it wasn't the same type as the other tumor. This is all they could tell us besides this one wasn't as life threatening at the moment as the first one they found. So we took all the money we had and some small donations from our community and fellow christian group brothers and sisters and on the wings of thousands of prayers and headed off to what I began referring to Chciago as was "My great Land of Oz". when I got to chicago they had set me up with a specialist to take a look at that 2nd lesion as well. He said it is an anomally, never seen anything like it in his life! That obviously wasn't comforting.
So I meet with the surgeon for the primary lesion and got things ready for the surgery and we headed back home to wait...more...while they make a plan of action. Then we get the surgery date set and off we go. Financially at this time we are barely hanging in there. And it is time to go back to the land of oz, so I go up for the surgery and I feel so Blessed. Blessed to have all of the prayers that took us there the first time and then again and blessed to be able to be there in the first place. Expecting a miracle from the great "wizard" Of my "OZ". Surgery goes off with lots of hitches. Had an artery cut during surgery and needed an entire blood transfusion, heart got off rythm during all of this and I now deal with that problem/additional medical cost as well. But I, was unbelievably lucky to still be alive. That...you can never complain about. Got home and saw my original Dr and found out I had developed blood clots on the trip home after surgery. Another week in the hospital while they got them under control. Once again, I was fortunate not to have died from those. Two in my lung and one in my leg.
As if the excitement and being overwhelmed doesn't stop there.. My father during all this is in the final stages of his cancer. My mother is going out of her mind with worry for the both of us. I mostly feel bad for her. I can't imagine what she is going through. It must be sheer agony. I have never been one to feel sorry for myself. I knew right from the start of all of this that God had a plan for all of this and that it was bigger than me!! So I know after all of this that with everything that happened I still have time left on this Earth, if not then any one of those things would have taken my life, let alone all of them together.
So we get back from the Land of Oz, tattered and torn, but still here to tell about it and that is what matters. The week we got back my husband lost his job do to major down-sizing. This was another devastating blow to say the least. My trying to live stress free so I could heal faster was going to be a huge obstacle at this point! My husband still hasn't found a job. We are about to lose his insurance as we can't afford to keep paying this huge amount to cobra with no real income to speak of. I can't work. If we lose our insurance I can just hang it up. As we won't be able to receive the care that I need for cancer and if I have to go through another bout with it wouldn't receive the type of care necessary to aggressively treat it which is the only way I would be able to beat it. I am so worried about this. It is also time for my first check ups after the surgery to make sure the cancer hasn't returned/spread. I have to do that every couple of months now for the next year. As this cancer is so aggressive that it can take your life in a matter of a month or two and we still aren't certain that they got the primary spot due to the fact that a lot of times it isn't ever found until it is too late, with this type, along with what I previously stated about this not being the usual primary spot for this cancer that we are dealing with. There is no way with our immediate financial emergencies that we can get back up to Chicago to see my doctors. I am going to have to do this locally for right now. But at this point can't even pay to go in and the time is beginning to tick away. We spent the last of what we had for food this week.
With my husband still not working we have been losing major ground on all of our financial obligations. Most serious and desperate is for our home. We are 3 months behind and are about to lose it. We just paid electric but everything else is about to be shut off, including internet. I know what most people think if someone is saying they are desperate financially and have the internet to say it on...But to us it will be another devastating blow as that is how my husband has been helping us get by with little bits here and there in side jobs. He is a programmer and needs the internet to do what little work he can get and to look for a permanent job. Most computer jobs you have to find online now a days and have email and internet.
So.. this is our situation I am not proud to say. I am never the type of person that asks for help. This entire ordeal has been trying for me in that way. I am Mom, so I am always the helper, the problem solver. Even for those outside of our home. I am always the one offering my help, until recently. I don't know what to do. I am so stressed. Tomorrow is D-day for our home. My daughter turns 16 in a few weeks and that is not what I wanted to get her for her 16th b-day, homelessness. My husband and I have been so stressed throughout so much of this, my entire family to be honest. We are barely hanging onto our marriage. Everybody, including myself was so afraid they might lose me. That threat is still something we have to try to face every day along with all of these other problems. All of this wears you down over time, even if you are just glad to still be here. You get to a point where you look and say why, so I can be so stressed that I get sicker and sicker or so I can keep watching my family stress and suffer? Doesn't sound like a sound enough reason to me. Feels like God has vanished, although I know in my heart he hasn't, and I still have faith.
I just see no way out of this downward spiral. I tried to go to bed earlier but laid there for a couple of hours adding up all of the money we owe in my head until I fell asleep then woke up realizing that even when I fell asleep I continued to do that. So, I got up and found this place.
My prayer is this: God, we aren't able to do anything with this mess we are in right now. But I know that you can and that you will provide for us. I have faith in you and have seen you work miracles in my life before. My life is one of your miracles. Please Love on us and bless us now with a good job for my husband, good health for me, my father, and my sister. Financial relief from our immediate financial burdens and for our families' financial burdens. Please give us peace in our hearts, minds and souls. Please help us to love and support one another the way we should. I can't carry these burdens any more...would you please carry them for me? Amen.
Dear readers,
I have decided ro share something with you. I developed Lupus from silicone breats implants that went bad. It is imminent to my health and my life to get them removed. I am part of the Dow-Corning class action lawsuit. I spoke with my attorney on Thursday and Dow-Corning is dragging the case out for another two years, This leaves me in a desperate situation. I was counting on them paying out this year so that I could get the implants removed. I am too sick to hold down a job. I am begging and pleading for my life! Would some kind-hearted soul please help me?! I have no where else to turn.
I am originally from a small Country in West Africa called Rep. of Benin. I am now living in Washington. For some raison, things started going downhill for me 2 and half months ago.
First, because of lack of grant money, some of us were temporally lay-off. I fall 2 months behind on my rent and had to report to Court and pay the court register with all the money I had left.
A week ago (last Tuesday), the news came from Africa, that my father passed away and my mother, same age as my father 87 years old is critically sick but can’t get the treatment she needs because of lack of money. I am the only son, and the only direct relative.
I am here to beg all the goodwill people to help me bury my Late Father, and send my sick Mother to the hospital. I know, each and everyone has some kinds of problem, still if you could, Please Help. No matter how small, you will be doing the greatest thing for someone you even never knew.
The longer the body stays in the hospital, the more money “You and Me” will have to pay the Mortuary for the body to be released.
Need blankets and pillows drapes towels and washrags house hold things to make ends meet... i get dissibility and my husband works part time we just cant make the ends meet we could use help with food of all kinds if possible thank for caring Please contact me at
I have crohn's disease and not getting anybetter. I haven't been able to work since I got sick and now with christmas coming up I can't even pay my bills let alone my kids christmas. I've been trying to get disability but its difficult because I'm only 22 years old. I don't know if any one can help me I just don't know what else to do how do you look at your kids and tell them that not only is Santa not coming we might not have lights ither. If any can help even if its just with a pryer I would greatly appreciate
